


Bittersweet

by littledoll



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-16 13:19:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2271201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledoll/pseuds/littledoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Ciel Phantomhive, a beautiful, blind boy at St. John's mental asylum, falls indisputably in love with his doctor's voice? Modern AU. Sebastian/Ciel</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Hello there! Just some few things first. This story might have gore/violence in the future. I will warn you beforehand however so no worries! ^u^ Ty so much for reading and I hope you enjoy! c:

* * *

 

 

“So how are you feeling today, Ciel?” his usual doctor asked him.

Ciel shifted uncomfortably in his night gown, clenching his hands tightly by his side. He simply shrugged his shoulders then rested his head back down on the pillow.

The doctor scowled.

 _It’s always the same response._ He thought.

He didn’t even bother pulling out his pen.

_This boy is so predictable…_

“So” the doctor stated “I’ve been telling you for a while now that I’m going to retire soon…”

Ciel simply murmured a faint “Mhm”.

The doctor paused, then finished “For this week, I am going to be bringing in my new replacement. Are you okay with this Ciel?”

Ciel didn’t respond, just simply stirred lightly on the mattress.

“I am taking that as a yes”.

With a shallow sigh, the doctor shuffled off to his bag. He rummaged through the papers, until he finally found the file.

“I am going to get him now.”

With that, the doctor stood up and exited the room.

The doctor greeted the replacement with a tired frown. The new psychiatrist, Sebastian Michaelis, was waiting dutifully outside of Ciel’s room for the doctor’s return. From the “conversation”, for lack of a better word, Sebastian concluded that his new patient was a rather quiet one.

 _Or he just really hates his doctor._ Sebastian thought.

“Mr. Michaelis” the doctor warned. “I’m not going to sugar coat things… so I’m just telling you now… Ciel Phantomhive is a difficult boy. I expect that he’s going to be the worst of all of your patients. When we first got him he was a screaming mess. It was only until recently that he calmed down. As you know, he is completely blind and is diagnosed with PTSD”.

Sebastian nodded his head. Yet he couldn’t help but wonder why the doctor was speaking so freely about the boy when they were just outside of his room.

He ultimately shrugged off the thought and listened to the doctor as he continued.

“He suffered a traumatic past, most of it he won’t even tell to us. Yet we do know that he was abused, causing Ciel to be… well, _disturbed.”_

The doctor then leaned in very close, words coming close to a hiss as he said “And remember Sebastian. That boy is not to be trusted. Don’t ever let your guard down around him. He’s not even human anymore Sebastian… just a shell of one.”

Sebastian noted every word the doctor said, with a most unsightly picture of the boy in his head. He expected for him to be like one of the patients from a movie… Deranged, not even present, too far off in their own universe, laughing manically… an evil grin plastered on their worn and hideous faces.

Yet when the doctor opened the door, Sebastian was never more so proven wrong.

As he looked over the small boy on the bed, he couldn’t believe that _he_ was the patient the doctor had so horribly described. He was quite small for his age, yet held a grace that could be considered “dainty”. He had fair porcelain skin, without a single blemish tainting its pale surface. His blue-hued hair framed his doll-like face and covering his eyes were layers of bandages.

When Sebastian examined the boy closer, he saw no sign of “disturbance” as Doctor Lee mentioned. He looked like a helpless, innocent little child… and Sebastian couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

The doctor went around Ciel’s bedside. “Ciel, I have brought Mr.Michaelis with me, my new replacement.”

“I know…” Ciel grumbled.

Sebastian was surprised to hear the boy speak.

The doctor nodded his head approvingly. “Well, Ciel, I am going to introduce you to him.”

The doctor then waved for Sebastian to come over.

Sebastian hesitantly stepped nearer to the bed, and when he did, only noticed that the boy was even more beautiful up close.

Ciel had his rosebud lips slightly parted as he took in short, steady breaths. He radiated a pure, childlike innocence and he had such a sweet, tempting allure. Sebastian couldn’t help but wonder… what could be secretly tucked away in the broken, little Phantomhive?

Ciel weakly sat up on the mattress, reaching for the bed’s frame. He gripped the metal tightly and pulled himself up, propping his back against the pillow.

“So” Ciel stated “I presume that you will be my new doctor?” Ciel asked when he heard heavier footsteps then his normal doctor’s approach his bedside. His voice was laced with a glimmer of noble pride. It was firm and unshaken, displaying confidence in every word.

Ciel continued facing forward, addressing Sebastian directly in a sense but then again addressing _no one_ in another.

Sebastian simply nodded his head. And Ciel remained unmoving, still waiting for a response.

Then, with slight embarrassment, Sebastian realized that the young boy couldn’t _see._

 “Yes.” He stated “I am Mr. Michaelis, and I will soon be your registered psychiatrist”. 

“Hm.” Ciel simply replied.

A tense silence developed in the room. Sebastian shifted his weight on his feet, teetering as a feeble distraction. Sebastian wasn’t sure why, but he felt nervousaround his new patient. Yet when he thought about it, the uneasy feeling that settled in his stomach wasn’t, per say, _unwanted._

The doctor interrupted the silence with a hoarse, mock cough.

“Well...” he began “Why don’t you tell Mr.Michaelis what we’ve been working on Ciel?”

Ciel twitched slightly, and if he weren’t blind, Sebastian could’ve sworn that Ciel had rolled his eyes.

When enough minutes of silence passed, the doctor spoke for him.

“Well, we’ve been working on communicating better with others and telling people how we feel...” “Haven’t we Ciel?” the doctor asked.

To Sebastian’s surprise, Ciel simply scoffed.

“Hardly...” Ciel paused, letting a sly smirk creep on his lips. 

“I mean _Doctor_ ” Ciel’s words were syrupy… a devious notion hidden in his tone.

“You know me better than _anyone_. And I, just… can’t help me being sooo….” Ciel then reached out for the doctor’s body. When his hand came in contact with the lapel of his shirt, Ciel tugged on it and purred, “ _Disturbed_ ”

The doctor scowled and flinched underneath the boy’s touch. He stepped away immediately and wiped his shirt off with his hand, treating Ciel as if he were a walking disease.

Sebastian couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle at the display in front of him. Ciel’s manipulations of the doctor were quite funny, well, seeing the doctor’s reaction to a simple _touch._

With gritted teeth, the doctor handed Sebastian the file folder, which was stuffed to the brim with papers. “And _this_ is his file.”

Sebastian was honestly surprised at the size….and weight—he didn’t know that paper alone could weigh so much.

The doctor glanced back once at Ciel, then with a cruel glare, gathered his few belongings. He hurriedly explained to Sebastian the leftover details that hadn’t already been discussed during the interview. And with not even a farewell to his patient of 5 years, he left Ciel’s bedroom for _good._

When the door had been nearly slammed behind him, Sebastian and Ciel remained alone in the room.

Sebastian looked around the room. Dull, lifeless, boring… all expected of course. Only a few audio tapes rested on Ciel’s nightstand, beside of which was his walking cane.

The room’s hazard-proofed enough, Sebastian concluded. He had to make sure his patients were comfortable, and most importantly, _safe._

When the silence stiffened, Ciel finally spoke up. “Mr.…M-Mic...” Ciel’s words faltered and eventually faded into a soft murmur.

Sebastian immediately turned his head, and with an amused smile, replied tenderly “Michaelis. And Yes?”

Sebastian was surprised to see Ciel’s cheeks tint a slight pink. So faint... that it almost went unnoticed… _almost._ “I need my bandages to be changed. This time was always the time when Doctor Lee would change them.”

 _Oh right_ Sebastian thought.

Sebastian glanced down to his wrist watch.

He remembered Doctor Lee mentioning something about Ciel needing his bandages changed at 8, which it now was.

Sebastian stepped closer to Ciel’s bed, but still kept a comfortable distance.

“They are in the nightstand.” Ciel said.

Sebastian opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out the gauze with a “Thanks”. Now he was supposed to replace Ciel’s bandages. An easy enough task…

“I am going to replace them now.” Sebastian stated, not wanting to frighten Ciel.

Ciel nodded his head.

With that, Sebastian slowly began to unwrap the bandages around his head. As his fingers grazed over Ciel’s scalp, he elicited a sweet, faint purr from the boy. Yet that’s all it was… very _faint._

When Sebastian pulled off the gauze, he looked down at Ciel’s now exposed features. Ciel’s large eyes fluttered open briefly, revealing clouded violets.

Based on pure desire, Sebastian traced his finger lightly across Ciel’s cheek. Immediately, Ciel stiffened, backing away from Sebastian’s intruding touch.

At once, Sebastian regretfully pulled back. He muttered a weak “I’m sorry” and wrapped Ciel’s eyes back in the bandages with care.

Once finished, Sebastian spoke up, saying “If you need anything else, I think I will take my leave now.”

As Sebastian went to exit the room, he hoped that Ciel will tell him to say. And when Sebastian closed the door softly behind him… he couldn’t help but wonder…about the beautiful blind boy at St.  John’s mental asylum.

* * *

 

 **AN:** Thank you so much for reading!! c: ♥ See you next chapter!!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Yay next chapter! :D** _  
_

* * *

 

  _What do I feel?_   Ciel thought when Sebastian left the room.

That simple, innocent, caress had stirred something deep inside the 15 year old. Yet he was far too naive to place it…

Ciel admitted Dr.Michaelis’ attraction. Even his voice alone was charming… a smooth baritone, rich in tone and seductive in theory. Unlike Doctor Lee’s voice, that was coarse and husky in all the wrong ways. Then there were the light touches, the closure of space when he had changed his bandages…He could still feel Dr.  Michaelis’ warmth on his skin, and the tingling sensation left on his cheek.

The more Ciel thought about it, the more it overwhelmed him. He wasn’t mentally prepared for such a feeling, and it truly _scared_ him.

So he opted to play one of his audio books as a distraction. He reached over to his nightstand, and ran his hands over the tapes. Reading the Braille titles, Ciel settled for Hamlet again. It was his favorite, and he had read it nearly a dozen times.

When he had slipped in the ear buds, he pressed play, and drowned in the tragedy being read to him…

* * *

 

 The next morning, Sebastian came just as he said he would.

“Ciel? It’s me, Dr.  Michaelis.” Sebastian stated as he stepped in.

“I know.” Ciel replied dryly, sitting up on his bed. He rubbed the tender spot on his neck that became sore from tossing in his sleep.

Sebastian stepped closer to Ciel, and pulled up a chair next to his bed. Ciel, unlike the other patients, has the special OK to go (and not go) where he wants, during meals and otherwise.

Sebastian handed Ciel a plate of breakfast.

“A cinnamon roll. Your favorite right?” Sebastian asked gently. Sebastian didn’t know exactly why, but he wanted for Ciel to like him as much as possible. He even went to the lengths of asking the other nurses and staff what Ciel’s favorite foods were. But despite knowing those things, he still hadn’t taken a look at Ciel’s file. He made a mental note to do that later.

Ciel nodded his head feebly and brought the cinnamon roll to his lips. He inwardly sighed at the flavor.

“Is it good?”

Ciel nodded his head then replied with a mouthful of bread “Mhm.”

Sebastian just watched as Ciel quickly gobbled down the sweet treat. Ciel’s face was dusted lightly with cinnamon and he watched as Ciel accidentally got a bit of the icing on his nose.

 _“Cute.”_ Sebastian muttered.

“Hm?” Ciel asked.

Despite himself, Sebastian face turned red in embarrassment, and at that moment, was thankful Ciel was blind.

“O-Oh? Nothing, nothing. I just said that you have a bit of icing on your nose.”

Ciel would’ve thought more about Sebastian’s suspicious answer, if it weren’t for the sudden feeling of Sebastian finger on his nose.

Ciel crinkled his nose at the touch and listened to the sounds of lips smacking, following with a contented sigh.

“It _is_ good.” Sebastian confirmed, licking the reminisce of cinnamon and sugar from his finger.

Ciel cheeks turned a pretty pink when he realized what Sebastian had done and he covered his face with his hands, trying, in vain, to cover his blush.

A smirk played on Sebastian’s lips.

 _An interesting one he is…_ He thought.

Sebastian then remembered the medication Ciel required to take and reached in to his pocket.

“Here Ciel” he said, reaching for Ciel’s hand. He then gently placed the antidepressant pill in his palm.

Doctor Lee had mentioned that in the past, Ciel was susceptible to depression and on numerous occasions, intended to take his own life. That is when the panic attacks and nightmares frequented. Even though the daily panic attacks and episodes had died down over the years, Ciel still had nightmares every night, unbeknown to the staff of course.

After Ciel swallowed down the pill, he slowly hopped down from the bed. He then reached for his blind cane next to his bed with ease. He had remembered every detail of the room, and knew exactly where everything was placed.

“Going somewhere Ciel?” Sebastian asked.

Ciel headed to his dresser, and pulled out the black, somewhat effeminate flats his family provided him. For being in a mental institution, Ciel was dressed remarkably well. Though his parents had died when he was ten, his aunt had bought him all that he could ever want during his stay at St.  John’s. Despite the fact that she rarely visited, her efforts were appreciated.

As Ciel headed to the door, he said “I am going to the garden. Can you take me there?”

Sebastian nodded his head with a gentle smile. “Of course.”

Sebastian took Ciel’s hand, causing for the boy to shudder at the sudden casual touch. Ciel knew it was purely innocent, needed of course. He was blind after all; it was clearly the easiest way to show him around. Yet despite the words Ciel assured himself with, he couldn’t help but blush all the way to the garden.

It was a nice summer day, that Ciel knew, and he couldn’t help but sigh in satisfaction when the sun’s warmth greeted his skin. The sweet smell of lavender filled his senses when the breeze danced briskly by. Despite being blind, Ciel could still appreciate what the world had to offer, including all its vice and splendor.

Sebastian led him to nearby bench in partly in the shade, knowing that the sun would eventually become a bother. Ciel welcomed the cool shade and relaxed on the bench, forgetting that he was still holding Sebastian’s hand.

Sebastian knew this, but didn’t mind. He actually relished in the fact that the boy had forgotten to let go. The boy’s hand was exceedingly cold and he made an effort to warm them up in his own…

Yet only when Sebastian gave a gentle, somewhat playful squeeze to Ciel’s hand, did Ciel finally let go. Ciel immediately pulled back with a flushed face and stammered “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to I just-“

“It’s okay” Sebastian laughed. “You were just holding my hand Ciel, nothing to be ashamed of.”

But to Ciel, that was _not_ the case. He had convinced himself over the years that all physical touch was to be avoided, that the world is full of greed and hatred; no one is _truly_ kind. Yet had he broken his own rules?

Sebastian felt the awkward tension develop between him and the boy. He knew that “intimate” touching, though it hardly was, unnerved the boy.

 _What exactly had this boy been through?_ Sebastian wondered.

“What do you like to do for fun?” Sebastian asked, hoping to break the awkward silence.

“Read I suppose. Well _listen_ I guess, I have audio books.” Ciel explained.

“Really? I like to read as well.”

“Mm” Ciel replied.

Silence hung dryly in the air…

 “So Ciel. “ Sebastian interrupted “What books do you like to read?”

Ciel thought for a moment then replied “Anything I guess. Hamlet mostly.”

“Ah, the Tragedy of Hamlet… I would’ve thought that that is among your favorites.”

Ciel’s interests peeked at Sebastian’s words.

“Would you?” Ciel asked haughtily.

 _What would this man know about me?_ Ciel thought angrily.

“You just seem like the type of person to be into that. Don’t worry, I’m not insulting you. I actually really enjoy Hamlet myself.”

Ciel scowled.

“Humph” he muttered, crossing his arms into a childlike pout.

Sebastian merely chuckled at Ciel’s actions.

 _How cute_ He thought.

“Do you spend most of your time here?” Sebastian asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Sometimes”

“It is quite nice” Sebastian observed. “I could see why you like it here.”

“Mm” Ciel replied again.

Sebastian noted Ciel’s disinterest, yet was intent on bringing the boy out of his shell. What had drawn him to the boy?

 He had fallen for Ciel’s tender distractions, blind to his manipulative instinct. To Ciel, it was his defensive mechanism, simply second nature. Only now is he more distant, relaxed, and even shy. Yet when Ciel begins to grow comfortable, all hell will break loose…

* * *

 

During the day, Ciel followed daily routine: break, lunch, more break, boring... boring…boring…per usual.

Sebastian had spent the day working on paperwork when he wasn’t tending to his other patients. Some of them were crazy, some normal, some not even present… and then there was Ciel. Out of all the patients, Ciel was the most interesting. So predictable, yet then again so… _not._ The boy was an enigma, truly.

At the end of the day, Sebastian made an effort to bid all of his patients goodnight. When he finally arrived at his last patient’s room, he found himself at Ciel’s door.

He knocked lightly on the sanded wood, and then entered Ciel’s bedroom.

“Dr.  Michealis” Ciel stated from on his bed, pulling the ear buds out of his ears.

 _How had the boy known it was me?_ Sebastian thought.

Sebastian simply shrugged off the thought and instead answered sweetly, “Yes, it is me. I’ve come to say goodnight.”

Ciel raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Goodnight?” he scoffed.

“Yes.” Sebastian simply replied.

Ciel smirked and then waved for Sebastian to come closer. “Well, bid me goodnight then, _Doctor_.”

Sebastian tensed at Ciel’s words, it was casual, yes, but he could detect the seductive underlying tone…

He ignored the feeling and instead pulled up a chair next to Ciel’s bed.

He then watched as Ciel laid his tape down on his nightstand. Sebastian also noticed the book, actual book, resting on its wooden surface.

 _Why does Ciel have a book?_ Sebastian thought.

“Ciel, why do you have an… actual book?” Sebastian couldn’t help but ask.

Ciel shrugged his shoulders. “My aunt accidentally ordered it for me. Even though I can’t read it, the pages feel nice…”

Sebastian cautiously grabbed the book, and examined its front.

“Pride and Prejudice” Sebastian read aloud.

“Oh, so that’s what it is…” Ciel murmured.

Suddenly, an idea popped into Sebastian’s head… What better to say goodnight… then to read a bedtime story? He thought.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife” Sebastian began.

“Dr.  Michaelis?” Ciel interrupted “Exactly what are you doing?”

“Why reading to you of course...” Sebastian replied.

“Why?”

Sebastian bit his lip. Why was he reading to Ciel? He hadn’t spent more than 2 minutes with any of his other patients... only to say goodbye then leave. What was so different about this one?

“It will help you fall asleep.” Sebastian stated.

Ciel thought for a moment, a single, crucial moment, until finally replying. “Okay, well, continue.”

 

If only Ciel hadn’t said those words… If only Ciel hadn’t listened for hours upon end as Sebastian read aloud. If only Ciel hadn’t drowned in the characters Sebastian would so well play, the individuality he would give them, maybe Ciel wouldn’t have developed a certain, _forbidden_ feeling... It was not only Sebastian’s voice… his single, compelling voice, that lured Ciel further and further into a world unrecognizable to him. It was his smell, his warmth, his occasional glimmer of a touch… he was _falling_ for the man. Yet if only he hadn’t…

But he did. And if he hadn’t … then maybe… just maybe, Sebastian wouldn’t have done the same.

* * *

 

 **AN:** Ty for reading!! ♥ See you next chapter!!! 


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hi you guys!** **here’s the next chapter. As always, enjoy!~**

* * *

 

Sebastian stared down at the file in front of him.

 _In this file, is Ciel’s past._ Sebastian thought.

Sebastian’s never been more so nervous, or excited, about reading something like this in his life.

In most cases, he would be disinterested, who cares about what someone has or hasn’t gone through? But as Ciel was with everything, the young boy was simply _special._

Sebastian slowly, hesitantly, opened the file, and started with the first paper on top. He briefly skimmed it over. It was nothing of importance really, just the basics: Ciel’s name, age, diagnosis.

He then started with the next paper. It was of the same value, nothing significant. Just a more detailed version of Ciel’s diagnosis. As Sebastian flipped and read over each and every paper, he realized that none of them were what he wanted. Even though, yes, he appreciated the reasons behind Ciel’s diagnosis, and the extent to the damage done to his eye, there wasn’t _anything_ about Ciel’s past. Doctor Lee was right; they simply knew nothing about the “Phantomhive boy”.

With a huff, Sebastian stuffed the file back in the cabinet. How was he going to find out anythingabout the young boy? He certainly couldn’t just straight up _ask_ him, that would result in nothing good he knew. He hoped that over time, Ciel would eventually tell him. But Ciel told nothing to his old doctor, so what made Sebastian any different?

Sebastian readjusted his clothes, and then exited his office. His schedule for today included therapy with a few of his patients… including Ciel. Over his time working at St.  John ‘s, he had only one therapy session with Ciel so far. It was quite standard, just the usual introductions. Yet for this session, Sebastian was supposed to delve a bit deeper… however well that will go.

* * *

 

“So Ciel” Sebastian began, “How are you feeling today?”

“Fine.” Ciel replied.

Sebastian noted Ciel’s answer on his clipboard. “Have you had any trouble sleeping?”

“No.” Ciel lied.

“No disturbances of any sort?”

Ciel shook his head.

Sebastian wrote down Ciel’s reply. This session was more awkward then he intended it to be, quite formal…

“Have you had any suicidal thoughts as of recent?”

“No.”

“Anything that could cause worry?”

“No.”

The conversation continued like this, Sebastian asked, Ciel answered with an either yes or no. During the whole 50 minute session, Sebastian got nothing of importance from the boy. That he was disappointed to say.

“Okay, Ciel. That wraps up our session for the day. I will be taking my leave now.”

“Mm”

Sebastian left the room with a sigh, he was hoping for _more._ And yet what he didn’t know, Ciel secretly was too.

Sebastian knocked on Ciel’s door, then entered his room with a “Just came to say goodnight Ciel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As he went to close the door behind him, he was interrupted by a soft “Wait.”

Sebastian peeked his head back through the door. He was surprised to see Ciel, knitting his hands through the bed’s fabric, face flushed a pretty pink.

“Yes?”

“You didn’t finish the story…”

Sebastian simply smiled. He entered the room and sat down on the chair next to Ciel’s bed.

“You’re right. I didn’t.”

He picked up Pride and Prejudice that was still resting on Ciel’s nightstand. They were nearly finished, and he was surprised that Ciel even wanted for Sebastian to read the ending. From the session earlier that day, Ciel just seemed so disinterested.

Sebastian found their place marker and began to read.

Sebastian loved to stop at the most crucial of moments, only to say “Would you like me to continue reading?” He loved to see Ciel’s angry, and he admitted, quite _adorable_ reaction.

“Yes continue! Don’t just stop in the most important part!”

With a smirk, Sebastian continued, every once in a while glancing up to see Ciel’s face.

The book hadn’t taken him that long to finish. And when he did, he bent down to give a soft “goodnight kiss” to Ciel’s forehead.

“Goodnight Ciel…” he whispered.

Ciel forehead tingled from the kiss, and he couldn’t help but blush.

With that, he left the room… leaving Ciel a gooey ooey mess… of whatever it was he was feeling. He buried his face in the pillow and stifled a loud groan.

 _Am I seriously falling for that man?_ He thought.

* * *

 

Over the next couple of days, Sebastian was so busy that he barely had any time to use the bathroom, nevertheless bidding his patients goodnight. Though he missed Ciel, and Ciel secretly missed him, he was intent on making up for it.

The next day, Sebastian finally came back to say goodnight.

“It’s me Ciel.”

“I know.” He replied.

Sebastian stepped into the room, and sat down at his usual spot.

“I’m sorry I haven’t come in a while, I’ve been busy as of late.”

“Mm” Ciel simply replied.

“But to make up for it, I’ve brought something.”

Sebastian took Ciel’s hands and gave him what was tucked in his arms.

Ciel ran his hands over the item, feeling every surface.

“It’s a book.” Ciel stated.

Sebastian took the book back from Ciel. “Indeed it is.”

Ciel scowled. “Are you going to explain why you have it?”

Sebastian chuckled. “Oh surely you can guess why…”

“No.” Ciel retorted.

“I’m going to read it to you. But this time, I’m not telling you the title.”

Ciel frowned. “Why not?”

“Isn’t it better that way?” Sebastian mused. “If you don’t know the title, then you can’t judge it…”

“I do that enough already.” Ciel grumbled.

“But don’t your audio books tell you the title?”

“They do, but that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh?”

With a shallow sigh, Ciel explained. “Put yourself in my position. I don’t get to judge anyone by their appearances. As far as I know, you could be the living embodiment of hell _._ ” Ciel paused, and then continued

“I judge people by their voice, reactions, personality, _insides._ Not because I want to... but because I’m forced to. I will never experience ‘love at first sight’, I will never get to know the world around me again, I will never get to judge a book, or anyone for that matter, by their ‘cover’.”

Sebastian simply smiled in reply. He expected an answer of that sort…

 “Well, Ciel. What did you think of me?”

Ciel tensed. “I don’t know…”

“Oh you surely must...” Sebastian teased.

Ciel frowned. “Well…” he began slowly, “I guess your voice is attractive…”

Sebastian merely chuckled. Ciel’s face turned red and he spat out “Oh shut up.”

“No, No.” Sebastian laughed “I only laughed because you’re so…”

“So what?” Ciel interrupted angrily.

 _“Adorable.”_ Sebastian purred right next to Ciel’s ear.

Ciel squeaked and jumped back, gripping the bed frame tightly.

A smirk crept on Sebastian’s lips. “Well Ciel… let’s begin the story…”

_“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…”_

* * *

 

The next morning when Ciel woke up, he found something peculiar underneath his pillow. He reached his hand underneath the pillow and pulled out something that felt like one of his audio tapes.

“What’s this?” Ciel asked aloud.

He ran his hand over the item, feeling its surface, and decided that it _was_ a tape. He reached over to his nightstand, and grabbed his ear buds. After finding the spot to insert them, he cautiously pressed play, and waited for whatever was going to come next.

_“Ciel.”_

Ciel immediately flinched at the voice. He knew just who it was…

“Dr. Michaelis” Ciel whispered.

“I want you to meet me somewhere tonight… I will be at room door by midnight.”

After nothing more could be heard, Ciel stopped the tape.

Ciel could hardly believe it. First off, Dr.  Michaelis had gone through the trouble of secretly putting a tape underneath his pillow. And then second off, he was inviting him to see him someplace in secret… Ciel knew that that wasn’t “normal doctor” behavior.

Yet he couldn’t help the growing color that painted his cheeks.

Why was he so different then the other patients? Was Dr.  Michaelis doing this for everyone else? Could he be trusted?

All of these questions and more ran through Ciel’s mind. Even though he was hesitant about meeting Dr.  Michaelis on terms that strayed from strictly professional, he couldn’t deny his attraction to the man. Above all else, he _wanted_ to go on the meeting… but the rules he set for himself made that want confusing.

Ciel promised that day, 6 years ago, that he would never allow himself to grow close to another person. He knew that this resulted in only heartbreak and loss… but again, was he breaking his own rules? To never try to regain something that’s been lost?

The whole day, Ciel was thinking about Sebastian’s recording. And as the day weaned into night, he felt his heartbeat quicken, and he found himself unable to sleep. Each toll from the church bells, 9 rings, 10, 11… made Ciel jump.

He hadn’t even realized that he was standing by his bedroom door when the church bells rang a clear, 12 times…

“Ciel?” A voice called out from the other side of the door.

Ciel flinched when he heard the voice. Instead of responding he just stood there, completely frozen.

“Ciel? It’s me, Dr.  Michaelis.”

“I-I know…” Ciel murmured.

Silence was heard from the other side, until finally Sebastian spoke up. “You got my message right?”

“Yea.”

“So… are you going with me?”

Ciel didn’t move or say a word.

 _Should I?_ Ciel thought.

And despite the rules he set for himself, despite everything he promised he _wouldn’t_ do, he said “Yes.”

Sebastian carefully opened the door, and reached for Ciel’s hand. Ciel accepted Sebastian’s own and greeted the touch warmly.

Even Sebastian wasn’t sure why he was doing this. He was Ciel’s doctor, and no matter how much he convinced himself saying “It’s to help him” or “This is strictly for medical reasons.” he _knew_ it was something different. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel attraction to the boy. It was pure, unrestrained _desire,_ not professionally or as his doctor, but as something else… And Sebastian didn’t even have the gut to admit it.

“Let’s go Ciel…” Sebastian murmured, leading Ciel out of his bedroom… and past the point of no return.

**AN: Thank you so much for reading! The update schedule isn’t going to normally be like this haha. But since it’s the weekend, I post a lot more. But I’ll try to update every Wednesday and Sunday? Sound good? c:**

**Ily** **♥**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay next chapter c: It’s early wooh. Enjoy lovelies** **♥**

**Warnings: Some Manga spoilers!!**

* * *

 

As Ciel and Sebastian stepped outside, Ciel could feel the midnight air nipping at his exposed skin. The night was quiet, save for the birds chirping lightly in the tree tops. He’d never been outside in the garden at night before, and the new feeling was welcomed.

Sebastian led Ciel to a soft patch of grass next to the garden’s pond. The moon had decided to stay hidden behind the clouds, bathing the world in complete darkness. Everything that moved was all but a shadow in the shadows… Darkness lurked in every corner, tainting everything in its wake… And Sebastian couldn’t help but wonder…

“Is this how you feel?” Sebastian asked, guiding Ciel to sit.

“Hm?”

“I guess I should explain…Everything is dark. There is no moon out tonight.”

Ciel nodded his head. “Yea, um.” He dug his hands into the grass, pulling up a few roots. “I guess. _Everything_ for me is dark…” He paused “But the darkness isn’t so bad you know?”

Sebastian remained silent, respectfully listening to Ciel’s honey sweet voice as he continued.

“Just because I can’t see anything, that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the world for what it has to offer.  Sight is not needed to love, feel, _experience._ ”

Sebastian smirked. He reached down to the grass and took Ciel’s hand in his. “You are quite interesting Ciel…”

As Sebastian gazed down into the small ponds’ reflection, he noticed that the moon had reappeared, revealing Ciel’s beautiful… and blushing face.

 _I guess I will truly never know how this boy lives…_ Sebastian thought.

Yet with Ciel’s hand in his, he could feel the occasional tremor that would run through the small boy’s body. He looked over to Ciel and found him shivering lightly, teeth chattering as he sat in his nightgown.

“You’re cold.” Sebastian stated.

Ciel shook his head. “N-No I’m not” he stuttered.

With a sigh, Sebastian slipped off his coat. “Don’t lie to me Ciel.” With that, he gently draped the coat over Ciel’s shoulders. The large coat fully engulfed the boy’s small frame, acting as a blanket of sorts.

Ciel gripped the sides of the coat tightly, pulling it closer to his body. “Thank you…” he murmured.

And the two said nothing more, just simply sat in silence, that is, a _comfortable_ silence.

At one point, Ciel stretched out his bare feet, only to accidentally touch the ponds’ icy cold water.

“Eek!” Ciel shrieked, instantly recoiling his legs to meet his chest.

“Ciel? Are you okay?” Sebastian asked frantically. “It was water, just water.”

Ciel breathed a sigh of relief. “Yea” he laughed lightly “I’m fine.”

Then hesitantly, he dipped his toes back in the water. He flinched at the cold temperature, but eventually settled his feet in the water with a sigh.

“Feels nice” Ciel murmured.

“I bet.” Sebastian replied.

And as the night grew, so did Ciel’s drowsiness. Then once, he even dared to rest his head on Sebastian’s shoulder.

Sebastian smiled sweetly and wrapped his arm around Ciel’s body, gently pulling him closer. At first, Ciel stiffened, but once Sebastian’s warmth reached his body, he eventually relaxed.

 And the two remained in that position, simply enjoying each other’s company…

“Dr. Michaelis?” Ciel asked sheepishly.

“Sebastian” Sebastian corrected. “I want you to call me Sebastian from now on, that’s my name.”

“O-Okay…” Ciel paused, and then continued. “Sebastian… I uh… Do you ever dream?”

“Dream?” Sebastian repeated. “I suppose so… at night time, yes. Occasionally I do dream.”

Ciel frowned. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, do ever dream about the future?”

Sebastian remained quiet, then slowly replied. “I guess sometimes.” “Do you have any plans for the future, Ciel?”

Ciel solemnly shook his head. “I have no future.”

 There was a long pause of silence. That is, until Sebastian finally said “Do you know Tom the Piper’s son nursery rhyme?”

 “Hm.” Ciel thought. “It does sound familiar.”

Sebastian replied with a smile. “Well, let me recite it to you once. Sound okay?”                                   

“Mhm” Ciel murmured.

“Tom, he was a piper's son,” Sebastian slowly began

 

_“_ _He learnt to play when he was young,_

_And all the tune that he could play_

_Was 'over the hills and far away';_

_Over the hills and a great way off,_

_The wind shall blow my top-knot off.”_

 

“What was the point of that?” Ciel scowled.

“One day Ciel …” “I’m going to take you over the hills… Over the hills and far away from this place.”

Ciel stiffened.  “What?”

Sebastian grew nervous. “You don’t belong here Ciel… you’re not like the others… patients I mean.”

“Please.” Ciel laughed.  “I’m much more than you think _doctor._ I’m broken… I’m disturbed-I’m.”

“ _Special”_ Sebastian interrupted, gently squeezing Ciel’s hand in his. “You’re special to me. And I well know what you come with … and I simply don’t care…”  “Because… you’re special to me Ciel.” Sebastian repeated.

Ciel hung his head and scoffed. “That’s what _they_ said too…”

Sebastian winced at Ciel’s words. “Well I’m not like them Ciel. Whoever hurt you, I’m not them. So just let me give you this one thing. I _promise_ you, that I will get you out of here.” Sebastian nearly begged out his words… He wanted this. Not as Ciel’s doctor, but as something else.

 “Promises can be easily broken.” Ciel replied dully.

“Just… trust me? Please.”

Ciel paused, and then leaned into Sebastian with a sigh. “Over the hills and far away eh? Anywhere?”

Sebastian grinned _.  “Anywhere.”_

“But… This doesn’t mean that I trust you.”

“I understand that. But do you understand our promise?” Sebastian asked.  

“What promise?”

“That we’ll leave here… _together_.” Sebastian purred.

Ciel was at lost for words. He hadn’t known this man for very long at _all._ Yet in all 5 years of his life at St.  John’s, he’d never felt more comfortable or content around someone than he does with Sebastian. But is that reason to make such a promise as this one? To go with him… to escape from the asylum, with his doctor of all people??

 “Damn it all” Ciel muttered underneath his breath. “Yes… Yes.” Ciel repeated, louder this time.

Then to Sebastian’s surprise, Ciel stuck out his hand, all fingers down except for his pinky.

“Ciel…” Sebastian began “What exactly are you doing?”

Ciel’s face flushed a bright pink in his embarrassment. “It’s a pinky promise you idiot.” Ciel spat.

“A what?”

“Give me your hand” Ciel groaned.

Sebastian hesitantly stuck out his hand to Ciel. Ciel searched the air, and then almost roughly, pulled Sebastian’s hand towards him. He fumbled with the fingers. “Is only your pinky up?” Ciel asked.

“Yea.”

Then, Ciel used his pinky and wrapped it around Sebastian’s. He then moved his hand up and down and then gently released his grip. “See? Now we’ve promised. _Pinky_ promised. Get it?”

“I guess” Sebastian chuckled. “That’s really _cute_ …” he teased, digging his nose into Ciel’s shoulder.

Ciel lightly pushed Sebastian away. “Shut up!” he hissed.

But despite his protests, Ciel couldn’t help but lean into Sebastian’s touch. And then after many teasings, the two finally settled back down into a calm silence. Ciel gently laid his head back on Sebastian’s shoulder with a small yawn.

Sebastian wrapped his arm around the boy’s small frame, pulling him closer.

“Sebastian?” Ciel asked shyly, after many quiet minutes passed.

“Yes?”

“I-uh… you smell good.” Ciel quickly finished.

Sebastian chuckled. “Do I?” He purred. “And what do I smell like my little pet?”

Ciel’s face immediately flushed a pretty pink, his bunny nose red from the cold. “I-I... uh…” Ciel then buried his face in Sebastian’s shoulder, nestling his nose into Sebastian’s shirt.

 Then finally, Ciel lifted his head. “Green apples” he decided.

“Green apples?”  Sebastian mused.

“Yes.”

Sebastian simply smirked, and then lightly rested his forehead on Ciel’s own.

Ciel blushed in the position; he could feel Sebastian’s warmth, the electricity his body gave off, the closure of space… Sebastian’s smell was intoxicating, his touch sending tingles throughout Ciel’s entire body. And before he knew it, the gap that lingered was quickly filled… when two lips met.

In that moment, Ciel’s world crumbled. He could feel him; taste him. Their lips glided gently together as the kiss deepened. Ciel instinctively leaned his body closer to Sebastian’s, only to bump his nose against the older man’s own.

Yet it was as quick as it came… And when their mouths finally parted, Ciel couldn’t help but blink through the rest of his shock.

 _Sebastian kissed me…_ He thought.

“Sugar.” Sebastian stated. “As I guessed, not only do you smell like sugar… but you also _taste_ like sugar.”

Ciel blushed at Sebastian’s words, his mind dancing with thoughts… Why did he kiss me? Did he like it? Did _I_ like it? Did he mean it?

Yet laced within his confusion was _regret._ He had fallen for Sebastian’s temptations, taking a chance on a man he barely knew. He made a promise… he made a promise…

“I made a promise…” Ciel whispered.

Sebastian tipped Ciel’s chin up with his finger. Ciel could feel Sebastian’s warm breath caress his cheeks, and Ciel decided, that the man _tasted_ just as good as he smelled.

“Yes, you made a promise.” Sebastian repeated.

Ciel shook his head. “No, not... not to you… I-“

“Ciel.” Sebastian interrupted. “You made me a promise. Everything in the past is in the past… Over the hills and far away right?”

“Over the hills…”

Sebastian was right. Ciel had made a promise. A _new_ promise. Though he knew that the past was just the past, he couldn’t shake off the nightmares that have haunted him since then. Yet with Sebastian… he could momentarily _forget_ them.

 _Isn’t that just as good?_ Ciel thought.

“You’re right… You’re right.” Ciel breathed, casting his head back to the ground.

Sebastian smiled. “You won’t ever break our promise. Will you Ciel?” he asked.

Ciel didn’t respond.

“Ciel?” Sebastian asked again.

After moments of silence, Sebastian lifted Ciel’s head. He smirked; Ciel was sleeping, apparent to the steady, deep breaths and silent composure.

He lifted Ciel gently up off the ground and in to his arms. He was as limp and weightless as a ragdoll as Sebastian toted him bridal style back to his bedroom.

 _I guess I’ll never know…_ Sebastian thought as he carried Ciel down the asylum’s dark halls…

_I guess I’ll never know…_

* * *

**Ty for reading! I'll see you next chapter!!! :D**

 


	5. Chapter 5

Sebastian hadn’t even known he would be getting a partner, until 3 days after the “midnight picnic” did a man clad in back appear at his office door.

“Hello?” Sebastian asked, addressing the man standing before him.

The man adjusted the glasses that rested on the bridge of his nose. “I am Claude Faustus. The new psychiatrist.”

Sebastian examined the man, now Claude as he mentioned. He was tall like himself, had nearly the same hair, and golden eyes rimmed with black. His face was devoid of any emotion, and yet he could detect the slight hint of impatience in his voice.

“I already have that position filled.” came Sebastian’s curt reply.

“The Hospital Board of Medicine suggested me as your partner. Though no matter how much I don’t want to be here either, I have to be.” snapped Claude.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes, eye brows pinched in displeasure. “I don’t have time to _babysit”_

“Dr. Michaelis.” Claude scoffed “Will you go against the board for your own selfish reasons?” he teased.

Sebastian simply sneered in reply. “Don’t be _foolish._ I just don’t see why I have any need for a partner, I am managing perfectly fine on my own.”

“Regardless. You have no choice, Dr.Michaelis. Otherwise… I may have to report you to the higher ups…”

Sebastian scowled. Though how much he hated having a new coworker, he hated the idea of getting reported even more. So with a sigh, Sebastian waved Claude into his office.

“Come in, come in.” he huffed.

Claude stepped in with a satisfied grin. “I’m glad you are agreeing, Dr.Michaelis.”

“Yes...” Sebastian grumbled. Sebastian then shuffled off to the far side of the room. He dug into his filing cabinet and pulled out the necessary papers for Claude’s new position.

“These are for you.” Sebastian stated, handing Claude the papers.

Claude accepted them with a polite “Thank you.” He paused then finished “Will you show me around? And then to the patients I am assuming. I am planned to start tomorrow.”

Sebastian gave a quick nod of his head and replied “Yes, we should leave now then. I still have a lot of paperwork to finish.”

Claude followed Sebastian out the door, merely two steps behind him as he showed around the asylum.

Once Sebastian finished showing Claude the asylum’s interior and exterior included, he introduced him to the patients.

It was the usual pleasantries; Sebastian would introduce Claude, Claude would reply with a sugary sweet smile. Yet the patients didn’t seem to care too much. They would wave, or give a nod of their head, or even some, not say anything at all. That is, until they arrived at the Phantomhive’s door.

Sebastian stepped up to the door he dreaded most: Ciel’s. For some reason, he felt as if though he _claimed_ Ciel. He didn’t want anyone else to even so much as look at the “Phantomhive boy.” A silly notion, yes. But Sebastian couldn’t control it.

Sebastian cautiously opened Ciel’s door. He stepped inside only to be greeted by a “Sebastian.”

Ciel was lying on his still made bed, listening to one of his audio books. When Sebastian heard his name, he flinched.

Claude raised his eyebrows “You are on a first name basis with a _patient_?”

When Ciel heard the foreign, yet somehow familiar voice, he shuddered. He positioned himself in the far corner of his bed, bringing his knees to his chest. “W-Who’s there?”

Sebastian immediately went around Ciel’s bed. He gently placed his hand in Ciel’s, giving a tender squeeze to calm the boy.  “I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you to him earlier Ciel. That is Dr. Faustus. He is a psychiatrist that will be also working with you when I can’t.”

Sebastian then waved Claude over. Claude walked around to the side of Ciel’s bed, and then halted. He looked down at the blind boy below him, shivering lightly in his nightgown. He looked over the boy’s features, and then will a sly smile, purred “Yes, Ciel… I am Dr. Faustus. A pleasure to meet you…”

Ciel detected nothing in the man’s voice, but Sebastian did. He immediately glanced over to Claude, giving him a warning glare as if to say: _“He’s mine. Back off.”_

Claude simply sneered. He turned his attention back to Ciel and cooed. “You don’t have to fear me Ciel.” Claude then stroked the hair framing Ciel’s face. A tender gesture, but an unnecessary one.

 “I know Dr. Faustus.” Ciel replied smoothly, reaching up to swat Claude’s hand from his face. “I need no sympathy or reassurance. So please, don’t feel as if you can touch me so freely.” He spat.

Claude slowly retracted his hand in defeat. Yet Sebastian was simply glowing, a sly grin playing on his lips.

Feeling as if though the issue was resolved, Sebastian left Ciel’s room with a simple “Goodbye Ciel.”

Ciel replied with a quiet “Mhm”

And as the two men left the room, Claude couldn’t help but glance back.

 _So we meet again Ciel…_ he thought.

* * *

 

The next morning, Ciel found something underneath his pillow. It was an audio tape, and he was almost positive who it was from. He slipped in his ear buds and pressed play.

 _“Ciel.”_ The smooth voice purred.

Ciel smiled sweetly in response to the voice, eagerly listening to what was going to come next.

_“I’m sorry I won’t be able to see you for a few days. I’m quite busy, you see. But rest assured, you will be taken care of by Dr. Faustus.”_

Ciel scowled.

 _“But I have included something in this tape. It will immediately play once this message is over. I’ll see you soon Ciel… and remember, over the hills and far away right?”_ Sebastian’s voice then stopped, followed by 3 beeps. Then afterwards, it picked right up again.

 _“I will pick up right where we left off in our last book.”_ Sebastian’s voice began. It paused then continued _._

Ciel listened to Sebastian’s voice as he read. He was comforted by the familiarity, and couldn’t help but smile the whole time as he listened to the story. Sebastian’s voice was rich and velvety, sly and seductive. Yet at the same time… tender and comforting.

Only when Claude stepped in to the room, did Ciel stop the recording with a tired frown.

“Ciel.” Claude began, pulling up a chair next to Ciel’s bed. “It is time for our therapy session.”

Ciel scoffed. “Of course, I almost _forgot_.”

Claude ignored the remark, and instead pulled out his notebook.

“So Ciel. Let’s start off with how you damaged your eye.”

Ciel flinched.

 _Why is he jumping in to this so quickly?_ Ciel thought _No introductions?_

“I can’t remember.” Ciel lied.

Claude scribbled Ciel’s response on the paper. “How did your family die?”

“I don’t know.”

“How did you come here?”

“I don’t know.” Ciel repeated.

Claude sneered. “Have you had any recent feelings of depression?” Claude flipped through the papers. “You are on antidepressants yes?”

Ciel nodded his head. “Yes, and no, I’ve been feeling fine.”

Claude wrote down Ciel’s answer then paused. He drummed his fingers on the clipboard then with a sly grin replied. “I’m going to take you off your medication.”

Ciel leaned forward. “What?”

“I will test to see how you do without the medication for now.”

Ciel stiffened. His mind went back to the days before the medication. _Everything_ was chaos. On the medication, the urges and panic attacks at least drown out. Ciel didn’t want to go back to how things were before. Back then… even his thoughts were tainted in darkness.

‘I-I need those.” Ciel urged.

Claude grinned. “I’m sorry Ciel. I’ve already decided.”

With that, Claude stood up, and left the room with a sly “Until next time… _Ciel.”_

* * *

 

The day for Ciel went on as normal. The effects from the medication he was given earlier that morning lasted the whole day. Yet Ciel knew that when night falls, his past will inevitably come back.

Ciel shuddered at the thought, and then decided to continue listening to Sebastian’s audio tape. The older man’s voice soothed Ciel in more ways than one, and distracted him for the time being. Yet as the day wasted, he could feel the urges rise like bile. Ciel knew that he wouldn't last long...

When the story was over, Ciel laid the audiotape back on his nightstand. He laid his head down on his pillow and forced his eyes shut. Yet in the silence, he couldn't hide from his thoughts. His mind was plagued of horrible notions and thoughts that he long since locked away.

"Stop Ciel" he repeated aloud.

"Stop!" he hissed.

Instead, he tried to think about what Doctor Lee had told him in the past.

 _"Happy place, Ciel."_ his doctor had said.

"Happy place... happy place." Ciel repeated. His mind went back to his days as a little kid, picking dandelions to show to his mother and father. He remembered their sweet and tender caresses and the wet kisses to his cheek. Yet those thoughts only brought back worse ones.

"Happy place... Happy place..." Ciel repeated again, frantically searching for a time when he had been happy. The screams of his past racked his skull, and he clamped his hands over his ears to drown out the noise. It was becoming harder to think properly, and Ciel could feel himself slipping.

"Happy place!" he shrieked through gritted teeth.

Sebastian's voice rippled in his mind. The time at the garden, the kiss, the promise… Though Ciel couldn’t say that he had been completely happy, it was a start at least. So he settled for the older man's voice, touch, _kiss_... Eventually, Ciel could feel his heartbeat slow, and his breathing return to normal. Though he could feel the urges linger, he could say that he felt a little bit better.

And secretly in the quiet darkness of his bedroom, Ciel couldn't help but plead.

_"Please come back soon Sebastian..."_

* * *

 

 **AN:** **Ooo we have Claude now hmmm? c;**

**Also, if I don’t update in time on some days, I apologize. I’ve been a bit depressed as of late, so finding the willpower to write is becoming difficult. TnT But I plan on finishing this story at least, so let’s hope this passes!!**

**Ty for reading!!! Until next chapter!!~**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey you guys! This chapter is really short! I’m so sorry >.< I wanted to write more, but it was really hard for me to even write what’s there now (boo depression uwu) But here it is!**

Chapter 6

 

A dreamless, no, _nightmare-less_ night, was a foreign concept to the blind Phantomhive. Even on his medication, the nightmares still lingered. Yet in them, he could see, he _had_ seen the world with two eyes once before. But oh how he wished that he couldn’t.

 

Ciel woke up in a cold sweat, panting in short breaths as he adjusted to his surroundings… It was the fifth time that he’d startled awake that night. It was become a nuisance, truly. All he wanted was normal sleep. Well his normal included maybe one or two vivid nightmares… surely not five. He couldn’t even remember a time when he had slept undisturbed the whole night through.

 

Ciel knew that sleeping without his medication would be a lost cause, so he decided to re-listen to Sebastian’s recording as a distraction. He reached over to his nightstand, and felt the items on his desk. He’d found one, but after briefly running his hand over its surface, realized that it wasn’t it. He ran his fingers over the others as well, searching for the tape. When his efforts proved fruitless, he retreated with a tired sigh.

 

 _Someone took Sebastian’s tape_ He thought.

  
“No.” he corrected aloud. “Someone took _my_ tape.”

 

Ciel laid in silence, despite knowing what it inevitably brings.

  
 _Who could’ve taken my tape?_ He thought. _And why?_

He ultimately shrugged off the thought, and instead settled further into the blankets.

Yet as he sat in the silence, he could do nothing against the intruding thoughts. It was like a record that he couldn’t stop, forever spinning, spinning, spinning…

His thoughts slowly rolled back to the fire… He could feel the flames’ boiling touch even now. The swelling heat spread through his forearm, sending a surge of shivers in its place. Then there was the memory of burning, putrid flesh… slowly wasting away under the fire’s cruel contact.

Ciel’s stomach churned. He could feel the warm bile slowly rise.

 _“No.”_ he quaked.

But it was too late. Before he knew it, he was dashing into his bathroom, frantically searching for the toilet. When his foot came in contact with the smooth porcelain, he threw his body over the bowl and emptied out his insides. He convulsed lightly as he wretched, tears stinging the corners of his eyes.

Finally, when there was nothing left but stomach acid, Ciel collapsed back down on the ground. He brought his knees to his chest, breathing in short pants. His throat burned from use and his head was pounding.

He hung his head in between his knees and groaned.

He sat on the cold bathroom floor, slowly rocking his body for hours on end. And he didn’t even notice the church tolls, and then finally, the bedroom door opening.

“Ciel?” a voice called out.

At the call of his name, Ciel slowly raised his head. Yet he didn’t respond, he simply continued to rock.

Ciel heard heavy footsteps approach the bathroom, and when the bathroom door was opened, the intruder gave a long, exasperated sigh.

“You made a mess.” The voice said coldly.

Ciel cringed when he recognized who it was.

“Dr. Faustus.” He murmured.

Claude then inwardly grinned at the sight. The boy was rocking himself in a fetal position, nightgown stained in bile. His hair was slicked with sweat and his cheeks glistened from pained tears.

And in Claude’s eyes, Ciel couldn’t be any more beautiful.

Claude kneeled down next to Ciel. He ran his hand through the young boy’s hair, causing him to flinch at the touch.

“I n-need my m-medication back.” Ciel stuttered weakly.

 Claude smirked. “Nonsense.” He teased. “You probably just contracted a stomach virus.”

“You bloody know this is not just a stomach virus!” Ciel hissed.

“Now.” Claude chuckled. “What are you suggesting?”

Ciel growled. He paused then finished “What do you want from me?”

Claude stood back up and wiped his pants off with his hands. He paused then thought for a moment, looking over the young boy beneath him.

 _Should I?_ Claude thought.

Before Ciel could protest, Claude bent down and scooped him in his arms. Ciel shuddered at the touch, yet was too worn out and weak to protest. All he could do was spit out a harsh “Put me down you bastard!”

Claude ignored his protests and instead laid Ciel gently back down on his bed. After the boy was settled underneath the covers, Claude slipped something into Ciel’s palm.

 “What’s’ this?” He asked.

Claude adjusted the glasses that rested on the bridge of his nose. “It’s your medication.”

Ciel sneered. “What? I thought you were going to take me off of it?”

“I might take you off of it again, but for now, you can have it.” He shrugged.

Ciel hesitantly felt the pill in his palm. “How do I know that you won’t kill me?”

“Why would I want to kill a patient?”

Ciel simply gave a small nod of his head. He then hesitantly placed the pill to his lips. Once swallowed, he spoke up, saying gradually.

“Why now? Why give it back to me now?”

Claude slowly sauntered to the exit. And before he closed the door behind him, he replied smoothly “Not yet, Ciel.” _“Not yet.”_

The second Claude exited Ciel’s bedroom, he cursed quietly to himself.

 _“Damn it.”_ He hissed.

He then walked briskly back to his office, doctor’s coat fluttering lightly behind him. When he stepped into the room, he nearly collapsed on to his chair with a tired sigh.

Resting his face in his palm, fingers splayed over his eyes, he muttered “ _Too soon.”_

 _I shouldn’t have taken him off of his medicine so soon_. He thought.

He knew that Sebastian was supposed to return to his normal schedule today, and if he saw Ciel in distress like that, Claude would surely get in trouble.

“I rushed the plan.” He grumbled aloud. “I’m going to have to figure out another way to do this…” he continued.

Claude thought in silence, drumming his fingers on his desk out of force of habit. “Maybe?...” Claude whispered.

He then shook his head, “No, No, that won’t work. I want his emotions _raw_.” He decided.

Moments of silence passed, then another: “Will that work?”

Again, he shook his head.

After thinking for a bit longer, suddenly a devious grin crept to his lips. He chuckled dryly and lifted his head.

He then reached for his laptop, and began his routinely paper work.

_“Let’s see how long the little Phantomhive can hold…”_

Though Ciel was grateful to have his medication back, he was suspicious of Claude’s intentions.

Ciel knew nothing else about the Doctor except for his name and that he sounded very similar to Sebastian. Both voices were deep and seductive, yet to Ciel’s ears, very distinct.

While Sebastian sent shivers down his spine, they were warm, and kind in their own way. Claude was just too eerily familiar for the young boy to handle.

And when Ciel’s door opened, and a smooth-voiced “hello” was heard, he couldn’t help the color that spread to his cheeks.

“Sebastian?” Ciel asked timidly.

Ciel heard heavy footsteps approach his bedside, following with a,  “Yes, Ciel. It’s me.” Sebastian replied tenderly, sitting down in the chair beside the young boy’s bed. He then reached for Ciel’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Ciel melted in to Sebastian’s touch, cheeks dusted a pale pink. “I’m glad you’re back…” he wearied.

Sebastian gave a gentle smile. “Me too. I’m sorry I haven’t seen you in a couple days, I’ve been extremely busy.”

“It’s okay…”

A stiff silence settled in the room. That is, until Sebastian looked over the young boy, giving a relieved sigh.

“I’m glad to see that you’re okay Ciel. Dr.Faustus told me you had a bit of nausea. But don’t worry; I’ve brought some antibiotics that should help.” Sebastian soothed.

Ciel immediately flinched.  

 “Ah... Yea.” Ciel sighed. “But I’m feeling fine now. I must’ve eaten something bad last night or something…” he shrugged.

Sebastian hesitantly replied with a wavering “Alright, well let me know if you need to go to the nurse.” Yet he could detect something in Ciel’s tone… but he couldn’t place it. So instead of thinking more about the matter, he shrugged it off as nothing.

 “Did you get my tape?” Sebastian asked.

Ciel nodded his head. “Yea, thank you for giving it to me. I listened to the whole thing.”

“The title of that book was The Scarlet Letter.”

Ciel shrugged. “I thought as much… It was a dull novel all in all for me, though I enjoyed listening to your voice.” By the end of his sentence, Ciel immediately blushed at his choice of words. He didn’t mean to sound like some lovesick, hormonal teen…

Sebastian simply smirked. He lifted Ciel’s chin with his finger and leaned in, lips merely hovering over Ciel’s own. “Did you…?” he purred.

Ciel flushed and pulled his face away from the older man’s own. “Don’t do that!” he shrieked, yet with no real malice.

Sebastian chuckled lightly. “Hey Ciel.” He tossed.

Ciel pouted. “What?”

“Want to go get some ice-cream?”

 Ciel shifted his weight on the mattress. He cocked his head then leaned in closer, “What?”

“Do you want to go get some ice-cream?” Sebastian repeated.

“You _do_ know I’m a patient in a mental asylum right? Like that means I can’t go anywhere-“

“I know.” Sebastian interrupted. “The asylum’s cafeteria just brought in some ice-cream, so I was thinking you’d want to get some.”

Ciel scoffed. “Why would I want to do that? I am perfectly fine where I am.” he stated firmly, crossing his arms.

“C’mon Ciel. You know you can’t resist ice cream.” Sebastian teased.

Ciel gave a childish “Humph”. He turned his body away from Sebastian’s voice and replied “I. Am. Not. Moving. From. This. Spot.”

Sebastian’s eyes flickered dangerously. With a silky “You’re move.” he fluidly lifted Ciel off of the mattress and into his arms. He cradled Ciel’s back, holding him as some would describe as “bridal style”.

“Put me down…!” Ciel shrieked.

Sebastian then halted. “Will you walk with me to get ice cream? I mean you don’t have to of course, I was just thinking that you’d might want to.” Sebastian toyed.

Ciel groaned. “Are you serious?”

“Very.” Sebastian replied firmly, strong arms still wrapped around the boy’s dainty frame.

Ciel paused, and then retreated with a tired “Fine. I’ll get ice cream.”

Sebastian grinned. “Will you let me carry you?”

Ciel flushed. “N-no! _Now let me down you pervert!”_

**AN: This chapter was more of a filler for the drama to come! :o So stay tuned for the next chapter.**

**Ily** ♡


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh my gosh! It’s been over a month, what is wrong with you Cas? :O (I’m so sorry geez it’s just I had a writer’s block and this chapter is still really short. And when I say short. I mean S H O R T. But I didn’t want you guys to wait any longer so I just submitted the unfinished version of this chap~.)**

**I also got a few questions from people about if it’s okay to draw fan art for Bittersweet. My answer is yes, yes it is definitely okay! :D It actually makes me really happy that anyone would even consider doing fanart for this fic~!**

**And thank you guys so so much for being so sweet~ Really, thank you! <3 Soo enough of my rambling, here is the teeny chapter >.<**

* * *

 

Sebastian led Ciel inside the cafeteria, and sat him down at one of the vacant tables. Ciel hesitantly sat down on the chair’s cold surface, nerves piquing to every loud noise. He’d only been inside the cafeteria once or twice, all other times his food was brought to him. And so from this, he was used to a certain kind of silence. He’d never really interacted with the other patients, and so now all of the foreign noises simply overwhelmed him.

The cafeteria was mildly packed; patients were lining up to get their food, some were talking amongst themselves in small groups at the tables, tittering about this and that. Shrill, bubbly laughter erupted from one of the patients, causing Ciel to immediately shake.

Sebastian noticed Ciel’s reaction and tenderly took the frightened boy’s hand in his. Ciel greeted Sebastian’s touch, nerves soothed by the older man’s warmth.

“I’m okay.” Ciel sighed. “It’s just… new that’s all.”

Sebastian frowned. “Are you sure? We can go out to the garden or something.”

“No that’s okay.” Ciel shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”

Sebastian knitted his eyebrows in concern, but eventually settled with a “Well I’m going to get the ice cream. Are you okay here on your own?”

“Yea.”

“What kind do you want?”

Ciel grinned shyly. “Chocolate.”

* * *

Sebastian came back with two ice-cream cones in hand, a perfect dollop of chocolate on one for Ciel, and vanilla for himself.

Ciel was sitting quietly at the table, nervously biting his lip out of force of habit. He wasn't sure quite to expect and so when Sebastian tapped on his shoulder to get his attention, he released a frightened shriek.

The cafeteria immediately silenced. All mouths hushed and all heads turned to look at the pair.

Ciel flushed red in embarrassment. Even though he couldn't see their gazes he could _feel_ them. He also knew that the immediate silence wasn't a very good sign either.

Sebastian waved off the onlookers and tried to calm things with a polite smile. "Everything is alright. Please, continue eating." he cooed, words sugary sweet.

Eventually, after a few skeptical glances, the cafeteria settled back into a collection of murmurs.

Sebastian sat down across from Ciel with an apologetic sigh.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

Ciel just shook his head. "You didn't mean to...” he whispered.

Sebastian frowned. He opened his mouth to speak but decided against it. Instead, he handed Ciel the ice-cream.

"Chocolate. Waffle cone." he said sweetly, hoping to cheer Ciel up.

Ciel held the cone in his hand, and then gently stuck out his tongue to lick the ice-cream. Savory chocolate danced on his tongue, and he nodded his head in approval.

With a faint smile, he murmured. "It's good. Thank you..."

Instead of replying, Sebastian simply returned the smile...

Sebastian watched, infatuated with the young boy before him. Ciel's blue tinged hair fell messily, yet somehow gracefully, down the sides of his face. His tiny mouth parted as he lapped up the treat, and Sebastian could still feel the reminisce of the younger boy's lips on his own from that night.

_If only Ciel knew how beautiful he is..._ Sebastian thought.

* * *

Once the two were finished, Sebastian led Ciel back to his room.

Ciel climbed on to his bed, then knitted his hands in the downy fabric of his comforter. And Sebastian remained by his bedside, simply enjoying the company of the gentle bluenette.

“Sebastian?” Ciel asked timidly after a few quiet minutes.

Sebastian sat on the edge of his bed. “Yea?”

“Can you tell me a bit more about yourself? I mean... I don’t even know that much about you…”

Sebastian swallowed. He was surprised Ciel even wanted to know anything about him. And secretly, this couldn’t make him any happier.

“Well...” he began “I am the oldest child, with a younger sister named Annabeth. My parents divorced when I was 8, and even now, I don’t speak to my father. I grew up middle class, in a small desolate town in Ohio. I went to school to study psychology, and I minored in literature.” Sebastian paused, then finished. “And I am particularly fond of cats.”

Ciel’s nose pinched in displeasure. “Cats?” he frowned.

Sebastian lightly chuckled. “Do you not like cats?”

Ciel shook his head. “I’m more of a dog person really.”

It was Sebastian’s turn to frown. “Hm.” He then looked over Ciel  with a sly smirk “Well… you remind me of _something_ like a cat.”

Ciel’s face immediately flushed pink. “I-I am not anything like a cat!” he shrieked defensively.

Sebastian chuckled. “Whatever you say” he teased in a sing-song voice.

Ciel’s lips turned into a childish pout. “Humph” he muttered.

Sebastian grinned. He was tempted to say more, but knew that he was running out of time before he had to resume his shift.

“I have to go now my little pet.” He said softly.

Ciel didn’t reply, he only maintained a juvenile “silent treatment” in order to get back at Sebastian.

Sebastian chuckled lightly, and then reached down to ruffle Ciel’s hand through his fingertips.

Ciel broke out of his silence with an irritated “hey!” He tore his hands through the air, searching for Sebastian so he could get him back, but the older man had already stepped away.

“I will see you later Ciel” Sebastian purred.

Ciel frowned. Yet when he heard Sebastian’s steps grow distant, he couldn’t help the gentle smile that crept to his lips.

* * *

Many days went by before Ciel saw Claude again. This Ciel was grateful for, he had a certain feeling about Claude that scared him. Not many things truly scared him anymore.

 Yet eventually, Claude inevitably returned.

"Ciel." Claude stated as he stepped inside. "It's Dr . Faustus."

"I know that." Ciel grumbled angrily.

A murmur of ferocity momentarily flashed in Claude’s eyes. He caught his breath at the sound of Ciel’s tone, past nostalgia sweeping sweetly over him.

_Just like back then..._ he thought, covering his hand over his mouth to stifle a dark chuckle.

With a clouded smirk, he pulled up a chair next to Ciel's bed. Then reaching into his pocket, he pulled out Ciel's medicine. Claude stared intently at the two blue pills in his palm; varying from the red pills Ciel was usually given.

"Ciel, here's your medicine." Claude said, handing Ciel the pills and a glass of water that rested on his nightstand.

Ciel reached out at Claude's voice, searching for his hand. He then took the pills from Claude's hand and held them for a moment between his fingertips.

_He's hesitating_ , Claude thought nervously.

With each second Ciel held the pills, Claude grew more and more fearful. Until finally, Ciel hesitantly placed the pills on his tongue, and then reached for the glass of water to gulp them down.

After Ciel ingested the pills, Claude released a relieved sigh.

"Hm?" Ciel asked at the sound of Claude's sigh.

"Oh?" "Oh it’s nothing Ciel, just happy that you're feeling better." Claude quickly replied, a bit too _quickly_ at that.

Ciel noticed Claude’s quick response, and couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows in doubt.

_Claude?_ He thought _Being worried about **me**?_

Before he had more time to think over it, his thoughts were interrupted by Claude.

“Well if you don’t need anything else, I am going to go now.” Claude said in his usual cold façade.

“Mm” Ciel simply replied, dangling his legs off the side of his bed.

With a sigh, Claude stood up, clipboard in hand, and headed to the door. Yet when he got to there, he paused. With a quiet turn of his head, he stood under the doorframe and watched the young Phantomhive.

He noted the thick blue locks, the small, slender frame, the rosebud lips that used to spill so many words… Then his gaze trailed up to the place where Ciel’s eyes used to be. Claude could still imagine the sparkling cerulean eyes that at one time, held such a relentless fire. Even now, the mere thought sent pleasant shivers up Claude’s spine.

Claude smirked shyly.

_Jesus Ciel._ He thought as he left his place under the door frame. _It seems as if though I’ve fallen for you yet again._

* * *

 

**This is shortest freaking chapter I am so sorry oh my gosh.  But Thank you everyone for being so supportive, ily all <3 I will try to update sooner from now on, <: Until next chapter-Cas.**

 

                                                                                                  

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! :D I’m back for another chapter yay c: Again, I thank you all for being so patient and understanding, I really love you guys xox. Well this chapter introduces another character that I’m sure you are all familiar with~~ (if you watched the anime that is) But as always, enjoy, and I hope to update on a more regular schedule.**

**Also, I post my updates on my tumblr<http://pastprince.tumblr.com/>**

* * *

Ciel was indescribable. He was a masterpiece all on his own. His skin was a beautiful blank canvas, just waiting for the violet hues of galaxies that only Sebastian could create. His misty eyes were filled to the brim with billions of stars; and Sebastian could’ve sworn that shimmering stardust alone ran through the bluenette’s veins.

Ciel was beautiful. No-Ciel wasn’t beautiful; he was the _universe_. He existed in every galactic bloodbath and bathed in the beauty that simply _was_ … Ciel was celestial... and that’s just the only way that Sebastian could describe him.

* * *

Maybe it was the sweet call of Sebastian that echoed through his dreams at night, maybe it was the soft numbness of a nightmare-less night, maybe it was the distraction of no longer needing tranquilizers when his thoughts plagued his sleep, or maybe it was simply that Ciel was getting _better._

He wasn’t sure why, but he felt a new feeling, almost a _warm_ feeling inside of him every morning. He knew that he wasn’t cured, and that this fix was probably temporary. It had happened in the past, Ciel would go a week, maybe two, without any nightmares or panic attacks and the doctor’s would proclaim him as a “medical miracle.” Yet then he would inevitably return to his previous state, insanity so strong, even the people around him were tainted by it.

But beyond all this, Ciel was sort of happy. Well, not happy per-say, but not sad, just…a calm sort of _grey._

* * *

Ciel heard a light knock on his door. He wearily sat up on his bed, stretching his arms out in front of him with a quiet yawn.

“Ciel?” the intruder asked, who Ciel at once recognized as Sebastian.

“Mmm…” Ciel murmured, his goodnight sleep still tugging at his body, lulling him to lie back down.

Sebastian chuckled. “Seems like you got plenty of rest.” He teased.

Ciel nodded his head. “Yes… it would seem so...”

Sebastian walked up to the side of Ciel’s bed and handed him his routinely breakfast. “Scones or biscuits?” he asked, holding aside the trays.

Ciel took the main platter and replied “Scones.”

After Ciel ate his breakfast and talked to Sebastian about the day’s affairs, he got up to change into his clothes.

Sebastian stepped out of the room with an “I’ll see you around lunchtime Ciel.” And before he could stop himself, he stooped down to place a gentle kiss to the top of Ciel’s forehead.  

Once Sebastian exited the room, Ciel’s lips pulled into a small smile. He then slipped on his clothes, and exited the room with his blind cane, trying to hide his smile all the way to the garden.

* * *

 Ciel hadn’t expected to meet another kid his age that was interested in him. He hadn’t even expected the “Hey… you’re Ciel right? I’m Alois.”

Ciel numbly shook his head. He then turned to face the voice.  And hesitatingly, he said quietly “Uhm yeah. I’m Ciel.”

Alois narrowed his eyes when he saw the bandages wrapped around Ciel’s head. With a silly grin he said “What are you doing wearing those bandages wrapped around your head like that silly?”

Ciel flinched. “I uh…” he began. “I’m-I’m blind…”

Ciel almost expected Alois to leave with an “I feel so sorry for you that’s horrible. How do you live?” or a “You poor poor thing”, like he’s gotten before. But instead, Alois frowned a bit, and then plopped down right next to Ciel in the grass.

“Oh well I didn’t know that, I’m sorry. But why are you here by yourself? You’re too awfully cute to be alone like this!”

Ciel face immediately flushed pink at being called cute. “I am not…” he quietly muttered.

Alois cocked his head. “Cute or alone?” Alois paused then finished. “Well at least I can say that you’re no longer _one_ of those things.”

“What?” Ciel asked.

“Alone you dork! I’m here now duh.” Alois chirped.

Ciel bit his lip.

_This kid…_ he thought to himself.

Alois nudged into Ciel’s shoulder, but when he felt Ciel pull away, he eased up on the physical contact. Instead, he spoke up “So Ciel! How come I’ve never seen you here before? What are you here for anyway? I’m here because apparently I’m “a diagnosed sociopath with psychotic notions and self mutilating tendencies.” Whatever that means.” He shrugged.

Ciel tensed. “I uh… I don’t know…” he murmured.

Alois frowned again. “Not one for talking really are you? That’s okay; I like to talk, so I’ll do all the talking for you!” He then broke into a bubbly, almost borderline _maniacal_ laugh.

_Jesus…_ Ciel thought _This kid is insane…_ Yet secretly, Ciel didn’t mind the company.And even though, yes, Alois may be a deranged lunatic, at least he’s honest. Ciel really respects honesty.

So Ciel sat and listened to Alois. He even let him thread dandelions through his hair, well, after he nearly _begged_ him to do so. Once finished, Alois had squealed and told him how “absolutely adorable” he looked.  This only caused for Ciel to turn 20 different shades of pink.

Yet once lunch time rolled around, Ciel rushed his goodbyes and headed back to his room. Alois had wanted to come with, but Ciel repeatedly told him no, there was only so much of the boy he could take.

Once Ciel got back to his room, he was pleased to be greeted by a smooth-voiced “Ready for lunch Ciel?”

Ciel nodded his head, and instinctively held out his hand, reaching for Sebastian’s own. Sebastian smiled at the notion and took the bluenette’s hand in his.

They didn’t say a word to each other as they walked down to the cafeteria, and Ciel wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

* * *

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Ciel had eaten lunch, then went to the garden again, (this time with Sebastian), read one of his few Braille books, and then returned back to his room for bed.

Ciel settled into the comforters and sighed. He was exhausted from all of the social interaction. Well first off he had actually met someone his age and _talked_ to them. (well sort of) Then he had spent the rest of the day either with Sebastian or in the library reading, which is more interaction compared to his usual day spent hiding in his room.

Yet the good thing about being extremely exhausted is that one can fall asleep easily. This is especially good for a diagnosed insomniac like Ciel.

So Ciel laid his head down on his pillow, and let his drowsiness weigh his eyes finally shut…

Silence instantly developed in the room, and once Ciel was barely tittering on the edge of complete slumber, a quiet knock followed by a shrill “pssst!!” was heard at his door.

Ciel groaned at the sound, yet decided to ignore it.

“Ciel!!” the voice screeched in a hoarse whisper.

Ciel tossed his body, and covered his ears with his hands.

Ciel then heard the person move closer; and once his door was opened he then finally realized… _someone is in my room._

Ciel immediately shot up and hissed “Who’s there?”

The voice stepped up next to Ciel’s bed. “Calm down! It’s only me Alois!”

Ciel recognized the almost feminine edge to the person’s voice. It was definitely Alois.

“Alois?!” Ciel shrieked. “What are you doing here?? How did you find my room?? How-“

Alois then shushed Ciel “Shhhh…! We don’t want to get caught!”

“We don’t want to get caught?!” Ciel half yelled through gritted teeth. “ _You_ are the one that snuck into my room in the first place!!”

“Touché.” Alois replied. Alois then shook his head. “But that’s not the point. We are going on an _adventure_ Ciel!” he cried excitedly.

“No way.” Ciel immediately replied, sticking his face back into his pillow.

“Cielllll…” Alois whined.

“No. Now go away.”

Alois pouted. Then a sly grin suddenly crept to his lips. “Well if you don’t go… I’ll tell everyone that you have a thing with Dr . Michaelis.” he purred mischievously.

Ciel froze, his face grew red. “I-I most certainly do not have a thing with my doctor!”

Alois scoffed. “As if. I see the way that you guys look at each other and how he’s always spending more time with you than any of his other patients… But that’s neither here nor there, I really don’t care that you have the hots for your doctor, I just want you to come with me.”

“But… I don’t want to.” Ciel murmured.

“Well…” Alois toyed. He then began singing, singing pretty _loudly_ at that “Ciel and Sebastian sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S”

“Shush shush!!” Ciel interrupted. “You’re going to get us caught!!”

“Oh?” “So you’re agreeing you are going to come?” Alois teased.

“I didn’t say any such thing.”

“But you used the word _us_. Which implies that we are practically in on this together now. So come with me, or get your little affair outed to the whole asylum, ultimately resulting in Sebastian probably getting fired and maybe even arrested…” “Who knows” Alois finished in a sing song voice.

Ciel groaned. “I guess I have no choice do I?”

Alois shook his head excitedly. “Now that’s the spirit!” He then grabbed Ciel’s arm. “Now come on you little dork!”

Alois then practically dragged Ciel out of his bedroom and then down the asylums dark and dismal halls, chanting quietly _“We’re going on an adventure! We’re going on an adventure!”_ the whole way down.

* * *

**Ooooh so we get Alois into the mix now~~ I wonder where this will go heh? C; But thanks for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows, I really do appreciate every single one I get and they encourage me to write. But ily guys, until next time!**


	9. Chapter 9!

**It’s been a while since I’ve updated hasn’t it? I will briefly explain why.  First off, I moved to a different state so that is a pretty big factor. Secondly, I am grounded “indefinitely” for reasons unknown. My computer has this thing called Net Nanny on it which blocks certain websites.  I am surprised it would even let me access this one, seeing that anime is blocked. Nonetheless, here I am, almost a year later. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I am still trying to get back into the characters since it’s been so long…I apologize if it is a bit choppy for the next few chapters. Also my writing style has changed some so you may notice that too…Anyways, here it is! Enjoy <3 (reviews are very appreciated)**

* * *

 

Silence hung thick in the air, drowning Ciel’s thoughts with its fragile yet threatening presence.

  _Where am I?_ Ciel thought. In Ciel’s case, sound was his way of “seeing”, that and touch. Without it, he considered himself to be extremely vulnerable. His entire character was built upon independence and attentiveness. Considering his circumstances, it was almost vital for his survival. He _was_ in an asylum after all.

 Ciel remembered Alois waking him up in the middle of the night. He also remembered Alois dragging him down the asylum’s corridors. He couldn’t exactly place how long they were running for, that memory was clouded for some reason.  As far as memories go (beyond running behind Alois), there were none.  However, there was one thing Ciel was sure of: he was in danger.

 After a couple of minutes, or hours, Ciel wasn’t exactly sure; he regained some feeling in his limbs. Ciel moved his feet around, and realized that he was standing barefoot. He could feel the smooth and cool surface of the asylums linoleum floor underneath him.

  _So I am in the hospital it seems_ , Ciel thought.

 Ciel moved his arms around, and was relieved to find that he wasn’t constrained in any way; meaning that if he was in danger, he had the ability to defend himself.  Yet as he increasingly regained his senses, he felt a throbbing and numbing pain in his left arm. Ciel winced as the pain deepened; and opted to run his hand over the source. He slowly traced his fingers over his skin and felt the soft surface of what seemed to be cotton.  Puzzled, Ciel dug his nails underneath the cotton, and recognized the feel of the same bandages that went over his eyes.

  _Gauze_ Ciel thought.

 He tore his fingernails along the lining of the bandage and ripped it off with ease, fervent to investigate the condition of his left arm. He hesitantly ran his fingers along the source of the pain, half expecting an awful wound. However, he barely felt any wound at all. In fact, he only found a tiny little bump, which seemed odd compared to the raw and aching pain he felt.

 Suddenly, Ciel immediately recognized the cause of the pain. It was obvious really, now that he thought about it more. Ciel concluded that he had been giving a shot, though he couldn’t suspect why it was done so late at night and in such an unfamiliar setting. This fact made Ciel uneasy; he knew that that shot wasn’t planned by his doctor. It must have been done secretly and for reasons Ciel could only guess…

 However, Ciel had other matters to question as well. Firstly, Ciel still wasn’t sure where he was, or how he even got to such a silent room in the first place. For the most part, the hospital was never _truly_ silent. Even at night time when everyone was asleep the hospital was still a tiny bit noisy; the walls groaned, the doors creaked, the patients with nightmares would scream, etc. This new silence was deafening, and it unnerved Ciel.  

 Once Ciel was sure that his body was still fully functioning, he tried to fight pass the fog that shrouded his thoughts.

  _Where had Alois taken me?_  He thought.

 He couldn’t remember going anywhere in particular; all he could remember was the endless running.

  _Where?_

It seemed as if though that memory was ripped from his thoughts. Ciel huffed in annoyance, and tried instead to figure out exactly where he was on his own. However, without his cane, he couldn’t be sure if the next step he took would be his last.

 Ciel stuck his arms out in front of him, and took a couple of steps forward. He could feel the floor underneath him, and the sound of his steps. This seemed to comfort him at least a little; it was nice to break the silence.

 Ciel walked a bit more, until his hands came into contact with a wall. The wall was cold and rough, with uneven grooves and cracks. As well as that, the wall was almost damp; Ciel could feel the traces of moisture in the hollows. Ciel recognized the wall as being made of stone, different from the hospitals wooden paneling.

  _I must be underground…the basement maybe? I never realized that the hospital had a basement…_

Ciel kept one hand touching the wall and continued walking, following the wall’s outline. Both the wall and the floor seemed to be completely bare, that is, until Ciel’s hand brushed over familiar grooves of wood. Ciel ran his hands down the wood and came into contact with a round, cool metal surface.

“A door!” Ciel said aloud. He turned the knob, and was relieved to hear the comforting groan of the door creaking open on its hinges.

Ciel stood still for a moment underneath the arch of the door, letting the cool air make goose bumps on his skin.

_Why would Alois have taken me **here**? Wherever here is…_

Ciel kept his hand on the wall on the other side of the door, and walked down what he guessed was a hallway.

Ciel wasn’t exactly sure what his next course of action would be. Considering the fact that he was blind and lost, his options of escape were fairly slim. He just hoped that someone would see his absence and come to rescue him, however much he hated that word.

Ciel also couldn’t help but think that maybe no onewouldfind him after all. He would be forever stuck in an unfamiliar underground corridor until the inevitable end, that is, death.

Ciel shook off the thought and continued walking, focusing on his steady breathing instead.

The silence was still lingering; Ciel heard nothing but his own body working to breathe and move. There was no trace of any other presence besides him. For all Ciel knew, he could be dreaming.

That is, until he heard a very faint creak coming from behind him.

Ciel stopped frozen in his tracks, focusing on the sound, trying to place the source.

“Alois?” Ciel whispered, turning around to face the noise.

Ciel waited for a response, but was greeted with nothing except the persisting silence.

Seconds passed, until the sound of heavy footsteps echoed on the linoleum.  They were solid and steady, with the familiar clicking of a heeled shoe on the floor’s surface.

 _That’s definitely not Alois_ Ciel thought, feeling his ribcage tighten as his fears began to surface.

As Ciel remained frozen, the steps grew louder; someone was increasingly approaching the frightened bluenette.

Ciel eventually allowed for his fear to take over his body, causing him to turn around and run blindly in the other direction. As he ran, he felt his heart pound wildly in his chest, quickening with every step. Ciel couldn’t be sure that whoever was behind him was a threat, but the familiar, threatening feeling caused him to think otherwise.

As Ciel ran as fast as his body would allow him, the steady clicking of the heeled shoe did not waver in pace. This made Ciel all the more anxious; whoever was after him seemed _too_ confident in their stride.

 _Where the hell is Alois?!_ Ciel thought. _Why did he take me here…?_

He had too many questions but wasn’t in the condition to find their answers. However, he had a feeling that the person behind him knew. 

Ciel eventually found himself nearly colliding into a wall. He hadn’t taken any turns, that enough he knew, so why was there only a wall at the end of the hall?

Ciel frantically ran his hands over the wall, searching for something, _anything._ Despite his efforts, all he found was the damp stone…

“Dead end.” He whispered faintly, his voice broken and desperate.  

 _That’s why the person following me didn’t run…_ Ciel thought. _They knew that I would reach a dead end…_

Ciel turned around and pressed his back to the wall, facing his pursuer.  He could still hear his follower’s footsteps, growing louder and louder as they neared him. Ciel could feel his body tremble beyond his control, and prepared for what seemed to be the inevitable.

As the source of the footsteps grew closer, they eventually came to a slow stop. Ciel then knew that his follower was directly in front of him, and so he anxiously waited for what was to come.

A thick and heavy silence settled between the two, growing larger and more ominous as each second went by.

Yet eventually, it was smoothly broken; with a calm “Ciel.”

Ciel tilted his head up at the sound of his name. And immediately, Ciel knew who had been following him.

Ciel’s thoughts quickly traced back to the pain in his arm, and recognized that _this_ man was the source of it all.  

“What did you do to me?” Ciel hissed, all signs of fear replaced with anger.

“Nothing that will hurt you.” The pursuer replied casually. “Just a little something to help speed up the process.”

“Process?” Ciel asked, forcing down the bile that was rising in his throat.

“Oh dear.” The pursuer replied, a light tone of humor twisted in his words. “It seems as if I’ve said too much already.” The man clicked his tongue. “Come along then Ciel. It _is_ rather chilly down here and we wouldn’t want you to get a cold now would we?”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Ciel spat.

The man chuckled. “So prideful you are, it really is quite ironic.”

“Ironic?”

“Oh yes.” The man paused. “You are so very helpless, but you still insist on being completely independent. “

Ciel growled. “I am _not_ helpless.” Ciel could feel his face heating up with anger.

Ciel gasped lightly when he felt fingers gently caress the gauze over where his eyes had once been.

“Not helpless you say?” the man replied softly.

Ciel froze, dazed momentarily by the man’s response.

Ciel was well aware of his condition, and how delicate it made him, body and mind. However, his pride convinced him otherwise; he was still as independent and strong willed as he had ever been. Yet secretly, Ciel was painfully aware of his fragility, yet endeavored to never show it.

The man’s touch lingered for a little longer, then slowly disappeared as the silence deepened.

“Come with me Ciel. It is time that you go back to bed.” The man said calmly.

Ciel remained silent, simply nodding his head in agreement.

The man reached for Ciel’s hand, causing the boy to immediately flinch.

“Relax.” The man cooed. “I won’t hurt you.”

Ciel sighed quietly and relaxed his nerves. He could hardly believe the man, but he allowed for him to hold his hand nonetheless.

“Very good.” The man said sweetly, an unnerving smile playing on his lips, unbeknown to the blind bluenette of course.

And as the man led Ciel to his room, Ciel couldn’t help but think

_What has Claude done to me?_

* * *

**whew! I wonder what Claude has planned hmm...I don't trust him and I wrote him!**

**Anyways, I am going to be updating weekly now yay! No more 8 month updates...Sorry about that btw its just been a very hectic year.**

**I'll see you next week! (or sooner if I get excited~)**

**reviews would be lovely <3**


	10. Chapter 9.5

**So I sort of got excited and wrote this little chapter too...but it's not developed enough to be a chapter all on its own, so I assigned it as chapter 9.5! I hope you enjoy!!**

**Also! Beast from the circus arc is included in this chapter.**

**Okay, anyways, carry on with the chapter.**

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Ciel woke up in a cold sweat, tightly gripping his bed sheets with terror. 

“DON’T TOUCH ME!!” Ciel screamed, his voice brittle and raw as violent tremors racked his entire body.

Not even five minutes later, two nurses rushed into the room, bolting to Ciel’s bedside in haste, trying to pacify his fears.

Ciel writhed on his bed, sobbing dry tears as he screamed out words incomprehensible. One of the nurses grabbed Ciel’s wrists and pinned him to the bed, trying to keep his body still. Ciel struggled against her grip, thrashing wildly as his nightmare heightened.

“Wake up Ciel” the other nurse cooed, her voice delicate with fear as she watched Ciel scream and writhe in agony beneath her.

“MOTHER NO!!” Ciel sobbed. His chest heaved violently as his breathing became panicky and shallow. 

She shook with fear at Ciel’s outburst, meekly backing away from his bedside.

The other nurse immediately recognized her partner’s absence, and called over to her “We need to calm him down.”

The nurse hesitated, unrelenting to speak a word. “But how?” She replied nervously.  “He is having a nightmare it seems…” the nurse paused and stole a glance at Ciel’s writhing body. “And he’s not waking up!” she cried, getting more frantic by the second. This was the newest nurse among the staff, Beast. She was not yet used to the daily nightmares and episodes of the patients present at St.John’s (unlike the nurses who already knew the horrors of the asylum).

The nurse holding down Ciel turned to look at Beast, her eyes stern and solid, “Come over here and help me wake up this patient.” Beast stood motionless, her scarlet eyes lidded with fear.

“Nurse Beast!”, the nurse demanded.

Beast trembled at the demand, and anxiously approached Ciel’s bedside, hands trembling as she looked down at the poor blind bluenette.  The other nurse sighed with contempt, “I will hold him down, and I want you to _calm_ him down. “

Beast looked up with watery, doe-like eyes “B-but how?” she breathed.

“That’s completely up to you.” The other nurse replied over Ciel’s sobs and screams.

Beast looked down at Ciel, who was thrashing on the bed, screaming until his voice was nothing but a raw whisper.  Concern coursed through her as she examined the delicate boy.

 _What must he have gone through to make him react like this?_ She thought _I can only imagine…_

Beast’s thoughts danced wildly as she frantically searched for a way to soothe the boy.

 _I can’t possibly hold him down! Nurse Elizabeth is already doing that and she has her hands full already…_ She thought.

 _Can I slap him? Am I even **allowed** to do that?  _Beast thought for a moment then shook her head. _No no that’s cruel and would probably end up scaring him more._

Beast stood quiet, shooing off every thought as quick as they came.

_Maybe I can just talk sweetly to him…_

Beast drew nearer to Ciel, cautiously and quietly. She looked over at Nurse Elizabeth. “His name?” she asked

“Ciel.” The nurse replied “Ciel Phantomhive.”

Beast nodded her head, then began slowly, _“Ciel...”_ she whispered kindly.  Ciel responded with shallow, panicky pants.  “It’s okay Ciel. You are okay.” She continued

Ciel screamed roughly in response, his back arching with agony. Beast gasped briefly, yet quickly regained her composure. 

“Mother where are you?! Please mother!!” Ciel begged.  Beast remained very quiet and still, listening intently to Ciel’s words.  His voice became sad and quiet “Please mother… I’m so alone…” Beast winced at his words.  _This poor boy…_

Suddenly, Beast’s eyes lit up with momentary excitement as she thought over Ciel’s pleas.

Beast hesitated, her insecurities getting the best of her. Yet as she looked at the little boy screaming in sheer agony beside her, she knew something must be done.

 “Ciel, Ciel it’s okay.” She paused “It’s me. It’s your mother. I am okay.”

Nurse Elizabeth immediately flashed her eyes over to Beast, stunned by her words.

Ciel breathed heavily, staying quiet and still. Beast and Elizabeth cautiously watched his every move, their bodies tense as they waited for a response.

“M-Mother?” he asked in a broken whisper.

Elizabeth’s eyes grew big with awe, amazed by Beast’s audacity.

Beast sighed happily as her shoulders relaxed. “Yes…” she breathed. “It’s your mother.”

 “Where are you?” Ciel asked desperately, remaining unconscious.

“I am with you Ciel.” Beast reached out for Ciel’s hand and tenderly held it in hers. “Do you feel my hand?” she cooed.

 “Y-yes.” Ciel choked out in between gentle sobs.

“I won’t ever leave you Ciel.” Beast paused and softly squeezed Ciel’s hand. “I will always be with you.”

“But the fire…” Ciel began timidly.

Beast shook her head. “That doesn’t change anything Ciel. Don’t you see? No matter what happens, I am with you.”

Ciel’s breathing began to relax to a steady rhythm, his nightmare quickly fleeting.

“Okay…” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “You promise?” he asked, his voice tender, laced with a childlike innocence.

Beast smiled through a veil of glossy tears. “Promise.”

Ciel breathed out a gentle sigh, the words “Okay” drowned out by the slumber that enveloped him. His breathing became smooth and steady and his body stirred lightly until relaxing into a motionless sleep.

Beast and Elizabeth went motionless too, remaining still and quiet at his bedside, assuring that the nightmare truly disappeared.

Once they were confident that Ciel was sound asleep, they quietly exited the room, locking the door behind them with a soft click.

As soon as they were in the hall, Elizabeth spoke up saying “That was truly amazing Nurse Beast. I knew your intuition would be a good fit here.” Her voice was genuine and almost friendly in tone.

“Oh it was nothing…” Beast replied, her cheeks flushed.

Elizabeth scoffed warmly. “Whatever you say” she toyed.

Beast looked down at her feet and smiled shyly. “Thank you Elizabeth”

Elizabeth simply nodded her head, and replied with a syrupy sweet smile. “Let us go back to our rooms. I think we’ve had enough for one night.”

“I think so too.” Beast agreed, shuddering as she reminisced over the boy’s agony.

 As they were walking back to their rooms, Beast stole a glance back at Ciel’s door.

_I wonder what mysteries lay in the heart of the Phantomhive boy…_

Once the pair left, the corridor went back to its usual gentle silence, disturbed every now and again by some such individual. Yet prowling in the darkness, brooding with a rage only known to the worst of demons, lurked a pair of glittering golden eyes…

* * *

**Poor Ciel :c Nightmares truly are terrible. But hoorah for Beast for pretending to be his mother! A crazy idea on her part, but it worked nonetheless.**

**reviews are appreciated! (or comments in this case)**

**Thank you so much for reading!!**

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	11. Chapter 11

**GOSH these past few days for me have been hell. i broke out into a TERRIBLE rash so bad to the point where i had to go to the hospital. i look terrible and i feel miserable...but i decided to update bc writing makes me happy so !! here is the new chapter i hope u guys like and im sorry if its rushed...**

**also lets all hope this rash goes away quickly bc its making my self esteem plummet lol**

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Ciel yawned lightly as he sat up on his bed, comforted by the gentle lullabies of the birds outside.  Ciel rested his head on the stiff hospital pillow, taking in the morning numbly.

 _My sleep seemed undisturbed._ He mused. _That’s a change for once._  (Ciel seemed to be unaware of his violent nightmare which Beast had so cleverly bottled up.)

Ciel listened to the familiar chatter of voices outside his bedroom; doctors and nurses alike were constantly rushing back in forth between the rooms, doing this and that. He patiently waited for a doctor of his own to bring him his breakfast, and used the time to study the voices outside his door. He was fairly trained at singling out conversations among crowds of people; years and years of practice he supposed.

He recognized an eerily familiar voice, though he couldn’t recall when or how. Ciel concluded that it was of a woman’s, who seemed to be in her twenties or so, a nurse by her pleasantries. He focused on her conversation, yet she was so far away he could only pick up traces. “Violent”, “Nightmare”, “Mother”, and “Fire” were the only words he caught. Yet he swore he had heard his own name…

His thoughts were interrupted with the opening of his bedroom door. He instantly recognized the smooth and graceful steps that glided to his bedside, and Ciel simply _glowed_ with anticipation. 

“Sebastian” he sighed, reaching out for his doctor’s comforting touch.  

Sebastian smiled warmly at the notion, and after setting Ciel’s food on the bedside table, swiftly grabbed Ciel’s hands with his own.  He pressed the fragile cold hands to his cheek, soothed by the boy’s nature.

Ciel nearly melted at Sebastian’s touch; the warmth that radiated through his skin sent pleasant shivers down his spine.  Ciel sweetly purred in response, humming in content. 

Sebastian kissed Ciel’s hands gently and then set them in his lap. “I was so worried about you Ciel.” Sebastian stated.

Ciel cocked his head. “Worried? What do you mean?”

Sebastian let go of Ciel’s hands, and instead traced his fingers along the boy’s cheek, gently caressing the porcelain skin.

“You know Alois? That boy you were with yesterday morning?” Sebastian began.

Ciel nodded his head, confused at where this was headed. “Yeah…”

Sebastian sighed, pausing for a moment.

“Go on.” Ciel urged.

“He’s missing.” Sebastian stated.

Ciel shook his head wildly. “No, no. That can’t be. ”

“It was reported that he snuck out of his room late last night, and then was seen running with another patient in the asylum. Though no one knows where he went or why…It is quite odd though, for he is the only patient reported missing. This means that whoever was with him escaped back to their room.” Sebastian pondered. “Very confusing to me…Nonetheless...”

Sebastian continued explaining the situation, yet every word he spoke fell deaf on to Ciel’s ears. His entire body stiffened when he heard that Alois was seen running with another patient…because he suddenly remembered that _he_ was that patient.

Ciel’s thoughts went back to the night previous. He remembered Alois taking him to that bare, damp room with stone walls. He also remembered the shot given to him by Claude when he was apparently unconscious.

Ciel shuddered as he remembered Claude’s sickly sweet voice, his cold, lingering touch…what he told him about “speeding up the process”.… Ciel was totally in the dark on what exactly that process was, and why Claude was so adamant about it.

“Ciel?” Sebastian asked, his voiced laced with concern.

Ciel remained silent, motionless as his fears increasingly grew. 

“Ciel.” Sebastian said again, this time shaking the bluenette lightly.

Ciel quivered as his senses returned, the reality of his surroundings reappearing.

“Aaah sorry.” Ciel mumbled. “I must have disassociated for a second. Don’t worry, it happens sometimes.” He lied.

Sebastian looked at Ciel hesitantly, detecting that he was missing a bigger picture. Yet he ignored the feeling, knowing that his mental state well affected his patients.

“It’s okay.” He replied sweetly.

Ciel forced a smile and nodded his head weakly. “Now where’s that food?” Ciel forced a playful air to his voice, determined to change the subject and not arouse any suspicion. He had a feeling that if he told anyone about Claude’s plans, they would be in danger too. And the last thing Ciel wanted to do was put Sebastian at risk; he wouldn’t allow himself to drag Sebastian into whatever scheme Claude was devising.

“Oh yeah! Almost forgot.” Sebastian replied, reaching for the tray of food.

Ciel’s mouth watered when he felt the warmth of the tray on his lap; the smell of pancakes beckoned the impatient Ciel who admittedly had a horrible sweet tooth.

As Ciel devoured his food down hungrily, Sebastian gently broke the comfortable silence that had settled between the two.

“So today the patients are going on a fieldtrip.” Sebastian said.

Ciel scoffed, setting his fork down momentarily. “Where to this time?”

“I was told that we are going to see a drive-in movie, one of those silent films.”

“ _You_ ” Ciel replied “You are going to a drive-in movie, I am not particularly interested in St.John’s petty fieldtrips.” Ciel gripped the fork tightly in his hand. “Besides, they didn’t even consider the fact that I am _blind._ ”

Sebastian sighed. “I know, I agree with you. However, this field trip is mandatory.”

“Sebastian!” Ciel protested

Sebastian put his hands up in defense. “I would love to allow you to stay back. Yet I didn’t make the rules, and I have no power to repeal them.”

Ciel groaned loudly, crossing his arms over his chest, his mouth curling into a childlike pout. “This is lame.” He grumbled.

Sebastian smirked, briefly running his hands through Ciel’s azure hair. “Hey, if you go, I’ll give you a whole _box_ of these Belgian chocolates I got. “

Ciel sulked. “What does it matter?” he muttered. “I’m forced to go anyways.”

Sebastian chuckled at Ciel’s pouty attitude. “Yes I know that, but if you go and behave- That is, not complaining the entire time.” He teased. This aroused a loud “hmph” from the bluenette. Sebastian smiled, and then finished “Only _Then_ will I give you the candy”

Ciel remained silent for a few moments, thinking over the offer. Yet finally, in a very low and grumbly voice, he mumbled “Fine.”

Sebastian took a breath to speak but Ciel interrupted him instantly. “But know that I am _only_ doing this for the sweets. “

“Of course.” Sebastian replied.

Ciel paused. “I’m serious.”

 “No, no I know. “ Sebastian replied again, a trace of sarcasm thick in his words.

Ciel frowned, his cheeks flushing pink. “You’re horrible.” He pouted; embarrassed that he was so easily convinced with only a couple chocolates.

“I know.” Sebastian smiled, his voice playful and sincere.  “I’m secretly a devil so what do you expect?” he teased.

Ciel scoffed again, shaking his head. “Oh yeah. I totally see it. You’re just tempting me with sweets so you can devour my _soul_.” Ciel replied, sticking out his tongue.

Sebastian paused for a moment, and then smirked, mischief twinkling in his scarlet eyes.

Ciel gasped when he suddenly felt Sebastian’s face inches from his own, so close that Ciel could feel the warmth Sebastian radiated electrify the space between them.

Sebastian lingered, his mouth brushing up against Ciel’s temple.

_“If only”_

**(AN: Just to be clear, Sebastian is not a demon. No one in this AU is. Okay, carry on.)**

\---

With slight difficulty, Ciel climbed out of the carriage. His feet wobbled underneath him as he hit the ground, yet with the aid of his cane, he quickly regained his composure.

 _Oh yes_ Ciel thought with a scowl _Make the blind boy climb in and out of a carriage on his own…to a **silent** movie of all things. _

Ciel bit his tongue so he wouldn’t complain audibly; he was very eager for the sweets promised to him. With the gentle nudges of the other patients, Ciel was led to a chair facing the movie screen. Ciel sat down with a quiet sigh, impatiently waiting to go back to the familiar setting of his bedroom.

After a couple minutes, Ciel guessed that the movie had started, apparent to the gasps and small talk among the crowd. Ciel tried to listen to the quiet small talk among some of the patients, but couldn’t exactly understand since they were speaking in short sentences.

“Wow.”, said one of the patients to another. “I know.” They replied.

Ciel frowned again, yet only briefly, unsure if Sebastian was watching or not. Thankfully Ciel had done so, for shortly after Sebastian sat down in the seat beside him.

Ciel instantly perked up, his body tingling with excitement.

“Do you want to know what’s going on?” Sebastian whispered.

“Not really.” Ciel replied quietly back.  

“Good because I have no _clue_ what’s even going on myself.” Sebastian whispered, his voice light and playful.

Ciel scoffed, a genuine smile playing on his lips.

“Hey, do you know where the loo is here?” Ciel asked; regretting the 4 cups of tea he had an hour prior.

Sebastian thought for a moment. “Yeah, I think I do.” He said “I’ll show you.” Sebastian offered.

Ciel shook his head. “No, no. It’s fine, really.”

Sebastian raised one of his eyebrows, “You sure?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Ciel replied.  “I’ve taken care of myself this long; surely I can get myself to the loo on my own.”

Sebastian paused, hesitant on the idea of Ciel walking around on his own after what happened to Alois and all…

“Okay” Sebastian sighed “Just be careful.”

“Always am.” Ciel lied.

After Sebastian gave the directions to Ciel, probably more times than necessary, Ciel quickly followed.

He walked the number of steps Sebastian had told him to, hearing the faint chatter of people grow quieter and quieter.

 _24, 25, 26…_ Ciel counted, focused intently on not getting lost as he was habit of doing.

Yet suddenly, his concentration was quickly and harshly broken with a loud “Watch out!” Before Ciel could react, he felt himself colliding hard to the ground, his body blanketed by another’s. Ciel went to scream, kicking his legs to wrench himself out from underneath the stranger’s body, yet his mouth was quickly covered with a small hand. The stranger pulled Ciel up, holding the boy close to their own body. They quickly snuck him to what Ciel suspected was “safety”, in his captors case.

“Shhhh.” the person holding Ciel whispered.

Ciel only yelled in response, his screams muffled by the hand over his mouth.

“Ciel Ciel calm down!” the person shrieked, fearful that the noisy bluenette would get them both caught.

Ciel instantly stopped screaming, keeping himself silent, trying to place the familiarity of the stranger’s voice… Ciel gasped, this time aloud, for the person’s hands had already softly retreated.

“Alois?” Ciel asked.

Alois sighed with ease. “Yes…” he breathed.

Ciel’s shock quickly faded, anger and betrayal taking its place. “W-What are you doing here?! You’re supposed to be missing!” he shrieked “And why did you lead me to him?! I-I don’t understand.” He stammered; Ciel was fuming.  

Alois winced at Ciel’s words. “Yes I know”, he said sadly. “But you have to understand Ciel, I was tricked.”

Ciel scoffed. “Oh yeah, okay.” Ciel said sarcastically. “You were “tricked” to lead me to a psychopath who’s injecting substances, probably lethal, into my body!” Ciel shouted.

Alois eyes grew wide with fear. “I-I didn’t know that he would do that” he stammered “Honest!” Alois voice got quiet and broken “I just wanted to escape Ciel…”

Ciel grimaced. “Why?—“, he began.

Alois cocked his head. “Why would I want to escape? “he interrupted

“No, no.” Ciel replied “Why were you “tricked”, you say, to lead me to him?”

Alois paused, wringing his hands nervously. “Well…” he began slowly “I d-didn’t know you all that well… and Claude promised me that if I led you down there, he would help me escape…” Alois’s eyes suddenly filled to the brim with tears. “I had no idea he would hurt you.”  

Ciel reached for Alois’s body, grabbing his shoulders lightly. “Do you have any idea what he wants with me?” he pressed.

Alois shook his head. “No idea. All I know is that he is _obsessed_ with you Ciel.” He hissed, his nose pinching in disgust. “It terrifies me.”

Ciel swallowed a whimper. “Obsessed?” he asked weakly.

“Yes.” He replied firmly. He reached for Ciel’s hair, gently caressing a strand between his fingers. “Be careful Ciel…I don’t trust him one bit.” he said, his words barely a whisper.

 Alois then sneered, his words suddenly fear stricken as he continued, “God only knows what he’ll do with me once he finds out what I told you…”

 Ciel could only remain motionless, his mind spinning with thoughts that are only present in one’s nightmares.

 _Why is Claude obsessed with me?_ Ciel thought _There is nothing special about me; hundreds of patients in the asylum are much more interesting than I am…_

“Alois, Ciel.” A stern voice said abruptly from behind them.

Alois’s body shook with fear, a gasp spilling from his lips.  Ciel winced, knowing exactly whose voice that belonged to. Ciel could feel Alois’s body trembling violently beside him; the boy was petrified.  

“I think it’s time we return to the movie don’t you?” Claude said, his words emotionless.

Alois gasped out a weak “C-Claude.” Ciel grabbed Alois’s hand tightly, silently assuring him that he was not alone.

 _“I won’t let him hurt you.”_ Ciel whispered.

Alois feebly replied with a faint murmur.

Ciel shook when he felt Claude grab his other hand; disgusted beyond words simply by his touch.

“Come along now boys.” Claude grinned wickedly “We wouldn’t want an _accident_ …”

Both Alois and Ciel trembled at Claude’s words, yet obeyed them instantly, fearful of Claude’s implications.

“I think St.John will be very pleased to see that you are safe again Alois.” Claude said, a malicious underlying tone laced in his voice.

Alois immediately stopped, then with tears pooling in his eyes, begged “No…” he rasped. “No, no Claude I can’t go back t-there” he stammered “I-I can’t…”

Claude smirked. “Of course you can…” He paused, his golden eyes lidded with anger. “and you will Alois.” He growled.

Alois remained motionless, his eyes wide with panic. “B-but...” he breathed.

Claude tugged on Ciel’s hand, which was still firmly grasping Alois’s. “Come along.” Claude spat.

Ciel whimpered at the harsh tug, feeling Claude’s grip tightening around his own.

Alois stumbled forward, nearly colliding into Ciel for a second time that night. And as he trailed behind, his thoughts began to slowly drown in numbness. The fear in his eyes faded to a dull emptiness as he lost cognizance.

* * *

**if i have time i will edit that chapter a lil bit, im not very satisfied w it.**

**comments are really appreciated !! they let me know what im doing wrong/right so i can write chapters that you guys like ! plus it helps me to continue writing oop**

**see u guys next chapter !!! thanks sm for reading <3**

 

 


	13. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone its Cas! So I’m going to continue writing Bittersweet, but I’m also going to start a new fanfiction since I’m not as thrilled with the development of Bittersweet since I started it last year. I think my writing style has changed too much over the past 12 months while writing Bittersweet, and I am really craving a fresh new start. I need suggestions for my next fanfiction! It’s still going to be the same ship, but I might try to write some Bubbline too. Well, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!! :3c**

**Disclaimer: Ciel is rarely mentioned in this chapter. But this chapter is very important to the story regardless. Also, to those who have read The Secret Life Of Bees, I sort of reference the book in this chapter!**

* * *

 

Sebastian flew down the halls, his doctor’s coat dancing in wild waves behind him. His hands were tightly clenched into hard fists, his knuckles painted white with fury. With each and every thundering step, every nurse and doctor on the floor shook with silent tremors, all unanimously afraid of the tall man clad in thorns.

However, this was of course excluding the newest doctor on the floor, one whose thorns could almost outmatch Sebastian’s own: Claude Faustus.

Sebastian tore into Claude’s office, eyes surging with something beyond hatred, a feeling that pulsed with absolute loathing.

Claude merely peered up from his thin framed glasses, golden eyes flickering a mutual feeling, yet the smile playing on his lips exhibited something else…something almost inhuman.

“Yes?” Claude toyed, mischief laced into his voice.

Sebastian’s fingers twitched at the mockery curling on the end of Claude’s tongue. “Stay away from him.” He spat.

Claude sat up, running his nimble fingers through his hair, replying “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He sighed. He really had hoped Sebastian would be far more interesting than this.

Sebastian grit his teeth, eyes narrowing at Claude’s every move. “You are not allowed to touch him, breathe next to him, think about him.” Sebastian paused, voice growing into a deep growl. “If I even suspect you doing anything more than merely stepping on his shadow, I will skin you.”

Claude laughed, a deep unnerving noise that crawled up his throat and sliced through the space between them, leaving a trailing hiss where his laugh had quickly died down.  Sebastian’s fists tightened, though wordless Claude’s reply was, it was answer enough.

Claude spun his office chair around to face Sebastian head on. Claude’s eyes locked hard on Sebastian’s own, threatening his authority.

“I can do what I please with your little pet.” Claude spoke at last.

“He’s not my pet.” Sebastian hissed.

Claude’s eyebrows rose slightly, feigning a disinterested look of surprise. “Oh?” he mused. “I suppose he’s mine then.” The corners of Claude’s mouth slowly pulled up into a smirk, enraging Sebastian more than imaginable.

Sebastian’s canines glistened when he spoke, his veins pumping thick with pride, “Do not ####### touch him, you disgusting insect.” Sebastian’s arms shook with fury, his fingers wrapped so tightly in his palm his nails might’ve torn straight through to the bone.

Yet despite his anger, Claude wasn’t afraid. In fact, Sebastian’s possessiveness only seemed to add fuel to the fire; Claude was determined to crush his colleague using the one weakness Sebastian had: passion.  Passion for a boy doomed for the inevitable, and so it seemed, this inevitable was the golden eyed devil himself.

Claude spun his chair around once again, his back facing Sebastian. “Be careful Sebastian.” Claude stated. “Your love is going to be the end of you.” Claude’s eyes were lidded with malice at the words, yet his tone was nothing less than amiable.

Sebastian growled, tremors racking his spine with a feeling he couldn’t describe as anger this time. “We’ll see.” And with that, he stomped out the door, slamming it firmly shut behind him, hoping that maybe if shut tightly enough, Claude’s venom wouldn’t be able to sneak through its cracks.

\---

It was lunch time, and Alois decided to spend his break time outside in the garden amongst the other patients. However, he chose to befriend the flowers instead, allowing himself a small patch of dandelions in the corner of the garden where no one unwanted would bother him.

Alois ran his fragile hands through the dandelions underneath him. Plucking two at a time, he began to weave a golden crown, humming “Oh Susanna!” quietly to himself.  Despite his shaking hands, the stems interlaced gracefully, green bodies overlapping yellow buds.

Alois laid the crown down in his lap, and began making another one.

“Alois?”  a voice called out behind him. Alois looked up from his work, and instantly glowed.

“Hannah!” he cooed.

Hannah smiled in response, kneeling down beside the small boy, her purple dress pooling in ruffles around her. “Flower crowns? They are very beautiful Alois.” Hannah remarked. Like most nurses and doctors present at the hospital, Hannah also had a secret favorite patient. This patient was, of course, Alois Trancy. Something about his fragility stirred something deep in Hannah. He was a baby bird fallen out of its mothers nest and Hannah was determined to take him under her own wing.

Alois offered her a crown. “Here you can wear it! I need it back though when you are done playing princess.”

Hannah laughed warmly. “Princess hm?” She gently took the delicate crown into her hands, admiring the flawless links.

Hannah secured the crown into her violet hair. “How do I look?” She bat her eyelashes teasingly and wore her most “princess approved” demeanor.

Alois cocked his head to the side, truly studying her. “It looks good.” He began. “But it lacks something…” he finished.

“And what is that?” Hannah asked.

Alois sat still for many moments, contemplating the certain something that was missing.

Alois’s eyes suddenly lit up, his baby blues sparkling with realization.

“Purity.” He whispered.

Hannah’s face instantly flushed bright pink. “A-Alois!” she stammered. “If you’re implying… that I’m simply not pure-“

Alois waved her words away. “Please Hannah. You and I both know the answer to that. I simply meant that this crown is meant for someone innocent, someone pure and blameless.”

Hannah smiled, taking the crown off of her head and handing it back to Alois. “Here you should wear it then!”

Alois smiled sadly in response. “Not quite.” He took both crowns, now complete, and held them in his palms, admiring his work.

“I will have to wear it at some point though.” He began, looking back up at Hannah. He paused, eyes beginning to dart frantically.

Hannah’s brows furrowed at his movements, sensing a dangerous mood change.

Alois wheezed, words coming out in gentle laughs at first. “That way Hannah,” he paused, his laugh progressively growing. “He will know that it wasn’t my fault!” Alois giggled breathlessly, laugh rising in awkward, manic tides.

“Not my fault!!! Not my fault!!!!” he continued, his laugh growing louder and more hysterical as his chest began to rise and recede at a frantic pace.  

Hannah’s eyes grew wide with panic. She reached out to grab the boy’s petite frame, his body shaking violently as his laughs quickly grew into sobs.

“It’s okay Alois.” She cooed.

“It’s not my fault!!!” he continued, words looping until his ears began to grow numb to the noise.

“It’s not your fault.” Hannah repeated, holding Alois’s waist, pulling him into her lap.

Alois’s mouth turned up into a devilish grin. “You’re right princess.” He gleamed. “It’s the man with the funny eyes’ fault, the one who always tucks me in at night.”

Hannah remained silent, waiting as the tension grew as fast as her heartbeat.

Alois let his head fall on to Hannah’s shoulder, letting out a few breathless laughs.

“Oh no Hannah. I am simply not fit to wear that crown.” Alois breathed.

“Because the man with the funny eyes is very good at winning games…and I am very good at playing them.”

* * *

 

**This chapter is kind of short aaaa sorry ; ; I am working on the next chapter right now. Tell me what you think!!! Comments really do help me, and so far, your reviews and comments are the reason I'm still writing this story a year later.**

**See you next chapter <3 **


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